武汉雅思作文批改分享!雅思考试中写作部分对于考生来说比较难，对于基础比较薄弱的考生不知道从哪开始备考，为了帮助大家备考，小编为大家带来了武汉雅思作文批改分享内容，供大家参考。
作文题目：
There are plans to make your local airport bigger and increase the number of flights. You live near the airport. Write a letter to your local council. In your letter,
*Say where you live
* describe the problems
* say why you do not want the development to take place
学生习作：
Dear Sir or Madam:
My name is Jack, and I live in the BaiSha town now, which is approx. 5km to the east of the airport.
I wrote this letter to express my worry that the airport enlargement project will trouble my life so much and that is why I strongly oppose the project.
I have already suffered from the noise of airplanes arriving and departing to some extent. If the airport becomes bigger and the number of flights could be increased much, then I really don’t think I can endure any more. Also, the traffic here has already been crowded around the airports.
Definitely, after the airport expanding, the number of cars on the road will also increase, and the result is that we people living around the airport shall have to take much more time on the road instead of relaxing at home.
I won’t agree with the expanding project until you can find a good solution for the people living around here. Thanks for your timing and concerning. I am looking forward to your addressing my concerns
Regards
Yours faithfully XXX
Nicola考官批改：
Overall this essay scored in the region of 6
Task response
This scored in the region of a 6
The student covered several points here and was clear and comprehensive. At times the tone was not quite consistent in its professionalism. Using the abbreviation 'approx' instead of 'approximately' wasn't quite appropriate for this kind of letter.
'I won’t agree with the expanding project until you can find a good solution for the people living around here.'
This is great English, but not formal enough for a 7.
Try:
'I cannot be in agreement with this expansion until you find a good solution for the people living nearby.'
'I am looking forward to your addressing my concerns.'
This is brilliant but too forward for a formal letter. I am torn between finding it a stroke of genius and finding it inappropriate for a formal letter. In any event, it's not something a native speaker would put in a formal letter despite the fact that they might want to very much!
Instead try:
'I'm looking forward to hearing from you and your suggestions of how to come to some arrangement on the matter.'
Cohesion and coherence
This scored in the region of a 6
There is a good progression in this letter. It is easy to read and at no point obscure. The paragraphing at one point is a little awkward.
'Also, the traffic here has already been crowded around the airports.
Definitely, after the airport expanding, the number of cars on the road will also increase...'
Here it would have been clearer to start your paragraph with the traffic overcrowding as it belongs to the complaint about traffic and not really in the paragraph that focuses on noise levels.
Overall it was good however.
Lexical resource
This scored in the region of
There was some great vocabulary used here: 'strongly oppose/suffered/endure'.
The student clearly had adequate language to cover the topic which is great.
Again there were times when it wasn't quite formal enough, see above. And there were a few errors:
'Thanks for your timing and concerning.'
Should be:
'Thank you for your time and concern.'
'Thanks' is too informal.
'...and the number of flights could be increased much...'
Should simply be:
'...and the number of flights increased...'
Or:
'...and the number of flights increased greatly...'
Finally this: 'express my worry' is fine, but not something a native speaker would ever say. Try to use 'express my fears' or 'express my concerns' instead.
Despite these corrections, vocabulary was good. If this were a real letter, the recipient would understand the points made and the fears expressed well.
Grammatical range and accuracy
This scored in the region of a 7
Fitting examples of complex grammar into such a short and specific body of writing is not easy. So it was wonderful to see shining examples of the passive and present perfect. This complex grammar is what has scored the 7.
'...have already suffered...'
'...the traffic here has already been crowded...'
Brilliant.
There are nice examples of the past tense used here too.
For an 8 it needs to be almost flawless and there were times when it wasn't quite right:
'If the airport becomes bigger and the number of flights could be increased...'
Really ought to be:
'If the airport became bigger and the number of flights increased...'
Or:
'If the airport were to become bigger and the number of flights increased...'
'Definitely, after the airport expanding, the number of cars on the road will also increase...'
Should be:
'Definitely, after the airport expands, the number of cars on the road will also increase...'
However all in all this was great.
In conclusion, this letter demonstrated a firm grasp of grammar and vocabulary. It's lack of formality at times brought the grade down a little but it was a strong body of work in general.
以上为武汉雅思作文批改分享内容，希望对大家备考雅思带来一些帮助，大家在备考过程中有什么问题，可以咨询我们的在线老师，帮助大家解决备考难题!