淘宝雅思作文批改范例

2022-06-14 15:22:22

  很多考生因为条件的限制,无法在身边找到一个对自己雅思作文有多指导的老师,只能求助于淘宝这样的网站,通过购买作文批改这项内容,帮助自己检测雅思作文的水平。虽然这是一个帮助大家复习的好方法,但是还是要提醒大家在选择店铺的时候要仔细,避免上当受骗。最后,为了让大家了解一些常见的作文错误,小编也为大家准备了一篇经过批改的雅思作文,供大家学习参考:

  World’s natural resources such as oil,forests and fresh water are consumed at an ever-increasing rate, what are the causes and how to solve it?

  (at least 250 words)

  Nowadays[d1] it has become a serious problem that the consumption of natural resources is increasing continuously in the whole world. What factors lead to this phenomenon and what can be done to solve the problem have become an issue to many people. In my view, the following reasons should be taken into consideration.

  The first and most important reason is that global population rises rapidly in recent years[d2] which brings more requirement[d3] of life materials. To be more specific, people need more houses to live, more fresh water to drink and wash[d4] , and more oil to provide power for vehicle. Another reason lies in the fact that technical progress and economic development enables people to improve their life quality frequently, such as moving to a bigger house, updating their cellphoneto[d5] whichhas more powerful functions, buying a luxury car to replace the old one, [d6] and so on. These will certainly cause a surging number of natural resource[d7] to be used and wasted.

  This issue should be well taken into consideration. As to how to address the problem, people put forward various suggestions. The most important approach is that the public should arouse[d8] the awareness of conserving natural resource[d9] . Develop a habit of conserving exhaustible resources, follow the new trend of "low carbon" lifestyle, say NO to disposable products and classify garbage into recyclable and unrecyclable before throwing it away.Secondly, searching renewable energy can solve the problem of the fossil energy reducing day by day. That is to say that government should encourage enterprise[d10] to invest in new energy, like solar power, nuclear energy and wind power.

  In reality, this problem is unlikely to be resolved in the short term. However, it is by no means insurmountable, and I am convinced that the authorities should shoulder major responsibility while individuals play a minor role. Only with participation from both parties, can we ensure that our younger generation can have[d11] a better life in the foreseeable future.

  l 替换词:

  Conserving可以替换成economizing节约/保护

  总点评:

  整体结构文章按照开头、主体和结尾三部分展开,符合report的基本架构

  文章逻辑本文是四段式,一段原因一段措施,逻辑衔接很清晰。

  语言运用尾段的语言运用很精彩,要注意单复数等细节,详见批注

  本篇文章得分: 6.5

  [d1]加个逗号

  [d2]加个逗号,非限定性定语从句,修饰上面整句话

  [d3]改为复数,requirements

  [d4]do laundry

  [d5]去掉to

  [d6]去掉逗号

  改为复数, [d7]resources

  [d8]Arouse的主语一般是物,比如说:higherpetrolpricearousescriticismandopposition

  此处可以换成raise

  [d9]改为复数,resources

  [d10]变为复数,enterprises

  [d11]建议去掉can,have→has

  以上就是淘宝雅思作文批改的全部内容,这是一篇6分以上的作文,在雅思作文中属于不上也不下的分数,但是通过它的错误大家还是可以看到,它在单复数、主谓语方面还是有很多不足。这可能也是作文批改能够给考生带来的帮助。能够更加直观的看到自己的错误,及时的改正和调整备考计划。最后,小编还要再提醒考生,一定要选择专业机构做批改,能提供更专业的指导,也希望大家在考试中都能获得一个满意的成绩。


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