雅思写作批改案例讲解!雅思写作的复习过程汇中，大家也可通过对一些作文的批改，来进行学习，这样我们能够知道低分作文的原因，也知道能够改进的地方。下面小编就整理了具体的写作范文批改，希望对大家有一定的帮助。
What are the advantages and disadvantages of Internet?
You should write at least 250 words.
advantages:
its convenient, in many aspect its has make things easier, we can find almost any information we need . You can exchange with you’re friends or family and it doesn't matter where you are or where you go. It’s almost feel like the world evolve around internet. We can watch the movie online anywhere anytime, we can buy daily things on online. So I think internet more and more be like we cant leave without it.
disadvantages:
in term of knowledge , people don’t take time to read or learn properly .they would rather spend time on social network, a lot of people rely too much to the internet .they don't have friends on real life .only on internet and that sometimes can be bad because you can meet some people who are fake and can be really bad influence on you without even knowing and make your life difficult -specially children education and social life .there are so fascinated by what they see on internet and time they spend on playing games. Its not only good for their mind or body but also have big influence dail y life.
总点评：
整体结构
这是一篇科技类文章，文章只写出了大体思路以及分论点，并没有写出整体框架，下次一定注意写完整。
文章逻辑
两个body段，分论点找的比较多，但是还需要继续延伸。
语言运用
注意词汇和语法的运用并且最好能用一些高级词汇和句型。
本篇文章得分: fair
er and medical facilities to help the vulnerable people rebuild their hometown. As far as I am concerned, worldwide charity organizations, which can help people all over the world, willconstruct a harmonious wold and reduce the war.
However, charities just concentrate on aiding people who live in their own countries seems not work effectively. The radical reason for which is that it has a limitation on supporting vulnerable people from other countries who suffer from the disasters, which will lead to a complex and dangerous social environment other than in their own country. This will eventually build an inhumane image in the world. A case in point is that in 2011the Japanese earthquake, Chinese charity organizations sent rescue teams and basic facilities to Japan to save people’s lives. If China did not do likethis, Chinese reputation would certainly destroyed and our country would be condemned by the international society. In this case, this way should be considered as the option of last. A nation should help other nations regardless of its strength.
Therefore, I believe that charity organizations shouldaid to people no matter where they come from, whichare regarded asbetter solutions to reduce wars and help vulnerable people rebuild their homeland when they went through disasters. According to these ways, a harmonious international society will be set up. Besides, it will make a progress in the whole world’s sustainable development.
By and large, we can expect that at least the problem about what kinds of people charities should aid can be largely solved by supporting people from all over the world who faces the desperate situation. The more effort put in and the wider the whole society involvement, the more substantial resultslikely to be. The increase of aiding people who are in great needs and the consequent improvement in people’s happiness is surely a worthwhile objective.
总点评：
整体结构 文章按照开头、主题和结尾三部分展开，采用双边讨论结构，符合议论文的基本架构
文章逻辑
本文是四段式，两个body段，body1论证比较有利。但是结尾段写了两段，建议归为一段。
本篇文章得分: 5.5
以上就是为大家整理的“雅思写作批改案例讲解”，希望通过上述作文的批改内容，能够帮助大家更好的理解雅思写作的高分，希望通过上述内容的整理，能够帮助大家更好的来备考雅思写作考试。