改造雅思低分作文 理解考官心情
以下是改造雅思低分作文的主要内容。不知道你们的雅思写作真题刷到第几遍了，也许你们当中的很多人早已对雅思考官给出的高分范文了如指掌了，但是那些只给出了低分的反例范文(比如剑5TEST1中的大作文)让我们在面对这些题目的时候难免迷茫，没有观点也无从下手。所以老师亲笔打造了如下的范文(鄙人之见，希望同学们能得到一些启发。)在咀嚼了高分甚至满分范文之后，自己也小试牛刀，开始改造那些低分的作文。也许你会更深刻地理解考官的“心情”。
主要内容如下：
题目5TEST1：
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
提纲：
主题：大学录取学生的标准
不同意：大学不应该每个专业都招收同样数量的男女学生。
理由1：大学应该根据成绩来选择学生，而非性别。
理由2：很难确保每个专业的男生女生数量都相等。
理由3：男生女生数量相同不等于学术上取得更多的成就。
范文+翻译：
随着高等教育的迅猛发展，各个高校对于学生的录取标准也作出了比较精细的规定。其中有些人就认为大学应该在每个专业都招收相同数量的男学生和女学生。但我个人认为，这样的观点似乎忽视了高等教育的意义以及操作这种政策的难度。
With the booming advance in education, especially in higher education, universities in an increasing number tend to set more intensive standards on accepting students. Some of those colleges hold an idea to attract equal amount of students in each gender in every subject. Nevertheless, I personally believe that they seem to fail to take into account the significance of higher education as well as the difficulty in doing so. (69)
首先，个人认为大学应该根据成绩来选择学生而非性别。因为高等教育的基本目标是为社会培养专业人才，并且人才的评判标准是学生的专业知识水平，而非性别。所以学校在录取学生的时候，不应该以各性别人数作为标准。
First and foremost, from my own perspective, it is students’ grades rather than their gender that should be treated as an essential contributor to be chosen by a university. Given that the ultimate purpose of colleges is to cultivate talents for society, with the standard in students’ expertise and professional performances, universities are not supposed to enroll freshmen only according to their sex.(63)
其次，想要确保每个专业的男女生数量都相等，那将是多么困难的一件事情。首先，每个专业的报名候选人中，不一定男女比例均衡，比如理工类的专业，男生的比重往往高出女生10倍，而造成这种差异的主要因素是男生女生在性格上的巨大区别：男生比较理性而女生则较为感性。如果非要在这样的专业中，保持男女生数量的平衡，那得取消多少男生报考该累专业的资格?
What is more, it is really hard to imagine the difficulty in ensuring the same number of male and female students in every single subject. It must be emphasized that the proportion of men and women among those candidates for the same subject is random, even extremely imbalanced in certain major related to science or technology, in which the number of male far outweighs its counterpart (There may be a ten-fold discrepancy in it.). What lead to such a difference is mainly due to the huge gender gap: men is more radical while women is more emotional (perceptual). By that I mean, if the number of each sex must be kept in a balance within such a major, how many male students would be deprived of their qualifications in attending the subject.(132)
最后，就算每个专业的男生女生的数量都相等，那能意味着什么呢?更多更优秀的学术成就?更和谐完美的学习氛围?还是异性之间的性格互补?我想高等院校的确应该为了保证自身的学术名声而做出更多的努力和尝试，但是单纯录取相同数量的男女学生，似乎无法得到满意答案。
What is also worth noticing is the hiding significance behind such a policy. Does it equate with more excellent achievement in academy, more harmonious studying atmosphere or complementation from each gender? For me, efforts must be made to guarantee the academic reputation of a university. However, simply pushing equal number of students in each subject is absolutely not a wise choice.(61)
总之，不管采用什么样的标准，高等院校选择学生的重点应该更倾向于学术方面的能力，而不能只平衡男女学生的数量，甚至耗费精力去确保每个专业都是如此。
By way of conclusion, no matter what kind of criterion is adopted for colleges to recruit students, the academic skills seem more critical than the equal number in each subject, which, as for me, is a waste of time and energy.(41)
(366 words)
PS：
建议各位考生在写作初期尽可能保留汉语作文的痕迹，一方面有助于自己审视作文内容的质量，另一方面也可以充分在汉译英的过程中发现并熟练掌握英语和汉语的差异，从而学会使用更地道、精准的语言表达自己的思想内容。
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