今天真实报告网独家，针对托福TPO2独立写作部分的作文案例提供了写作批改，其中将语法、词汇、逻辑等错误都标注出来了，这是一篇完整版的托福批改报告，坚持有批改才会有进步!
A 1people who want to 2have 3a good 4friend must 5have some definite goals in mind. For the people who wants have a good interpersonal relationship quickly and make others believe him firsthand, there is often method to telling the truth.6There may be 7one 8disadvantage 9of telling the truth10However, I believe that there are 11for more advantages.12In summary, I think that always telling the truth is the most important 13consideration in any relationship between people.
First of all, one minor 14disadvantages of telling the truth 15inclues that without regard to felling of others and irrespective of lick that people whether of not. For 16instance, my grandmother 17is smoker; she has been smoking for 30 years.18One day, I learn the knowledge that smoking short the life, 19then I telling the truth to my grandmother, she as heard the truth soon cried. 20Apparently, I should 21not tell the truth 22to her, so telling the truth should consider the situation of others. Even though there 23maybe 24one disadvantages 25of telling the truth, the advantages far 26more outweigh them. By telling the truth, 27the people have an excellent opportunity to improve28 29his 30interpersonal relationship. For example, my 31bother always 32telling the truth33, 34all of his classmates consider 35that he is a honest, 36therefore , he is the most popular student in 37the class, 38his interpersonal is excellent.
Another 39advantage of telling the truth is 40that the people can be believed, 41once people know that 42he is an honest 43man and then people will redouble his trust on him. Trust is very importance, since if people trust you, then he will tell you the truth, such as your drawback. The people who learn the drawback of oneself by other people is more likely to 44success.
Although I agree that there 45maybe 46one disadvantage 47of telling the truth, I feel that48advantages are more 49obvious. People can have a good interpersonal relationship. In addition, people will find 50himself in an 51atmosphere which others trust 52you more. In my opinion, these are the two important goals for him, and telling the truth is the best way to achieve 53then54, 55thus, I 56suppose that always telling the truth is the most important 57consideration in any relationship between people.
错误归类分析：
选词错误：
1: 修改建议：person.
13: 修改建议：aspect.
16: 修改建议：example.
49: 修改建议：prominent/significant.
51: 修改建议：position.
56: 修改建议：think.
57: 修改建议：aspect.
打字错误(TYP)：
2: 修改建议：have.
53: 修改建议：them.
冠词错误：
3: 修改建议：delete “a”.
37: 修改建议：his.
48: 修改建议：the.
单复数错误：
4: 修改建议：friends.
8: 修改建议：disadvantages.
46: 修改建议：disadvantages.
句子过长：
5: 修改建议：know of certain methods to attain them, such as(repetition of first sentence meaning).
连词错误：
6: 修改建议：Although.
12: 修改建议：This is a concluding statement which does not belong in the middle of an introduction.
20: 修改建议：In this case.
34: 修改建议：Therefore.
36: 修改建议：making him.
本文是TPO2托福作文批改真实报告网独家。
修饰词错误：
7: 修改建议：certain.
11: 修改建议：far.
26: 修改建议：delete.
介词错误：
9: 修改建议：when.
25: 修改建议：to.
28: 修改建议：on.
47: 修改建议：to.
多余文字：
10: 修改建议：delete “However”.
24: 修改建议：delete “one”.
38: 修改建议：delete “his interpersonal is excellent”.
单词重复过多：
14: 修改建议：setback.
39: 修改建议：benefit.
中式英语(CHI):
15: 修改建议：is that it can be deemed rude or received poorly by others.
19: 修改建议：my grandmother did not know this. I relayed this information to her which made her cry immediately upon hearing.
22: 修改建议：and should have considered the sensitivity of the situation more.
27: 修改建议：one possesses the
43: 修改建议：they will continue to think of that person as such.
句子过短：
17: 修改建议：has been a smoker for 30 years.
逻辑出错：
18: 修改建议：Although it is a widely known fact that smoking shortens one’s lifespans,
35: 修改建议：him.
时态错误：
21: 修改建议：have not told.
32: 修改建议：tells.
单词合并错误：
23: 修改建议：may be.
45: 修改建议：may be.
代词错误：
29: 修改建议：his/her.
50: 修改建议：themselves.
52: 修改建议：them.
指代不清：
30: 修改建议：interpersonal relationship skills.
42: 修改建议：someone is.
拼写错误(SPL):
31: 修改建议：brother.
标点错误：
33: 修改建议：.
54: 修改建议：.
语态错误(VOI)：
40: 修改建议：earning the right to be trusted.
大小写错误：
41: 修改建议：Once.
55: 修改建议：Thus.
动词形式错误：
44: 修改建议：succeed.
得分3.2分(满分5分)
任务完成情况 Development and Details
文章切题、阐述充分
Effectiveness in addressing the topic and task.
文章组织和结构 Organization & Structure
结构连贯清晰、阐述每篇文章观点及他们的关系
Clear, coherent structure, logical paragraphing and clear transitions in ideas.
论点扩展和细节运用 Development & Details
能用相关的例子，细节和原因支持观点。前后一致并循序渐进
Relevant examples, details, reasons to support the position, presented in a unified and progressive way.
语法 Grammar
能运用标准的书面英语，包括语法，词汇，拼写及标点
Command of the elements of Standard Written English, incl. grammar, word usage, spelling, and punctuation.
整体评分 Holistic Assessment
内容切题，表达连贯流畅
Effectively addresses the topic and task cohesively and fluently in the presentation of the text.
总评
1. It is important to keep spelling mistakes to a minimum. Please remember how to correctly spell words that are common. 2. Please stick to writing in the 3rd person perspective. Avoiding writing in 2nd person unless for intended effect. Mixing perspectives causes confusion and lack of focus. 3. Avoiding starting sentences using the same wording(i.e. A person who wants to...)in sequence. 4. Please try and avoid using such wording as "First of all, Second,..."as these take away from a cohesive work rather than help. 5. Avoid repeating the same words in a paragraph. (i.e. disadvantages) unless it is forintended purposes. 6. Please try to connect short sentences into a cohesive and meaningful one.(i.e. My grandmother is a smoker; she has been smoking for 30 years.)
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