根据
我们都知道段落论证有很多方式,讲道理,举例子,做对比等等。众多方式之中最容易把控的便是讲道理与举例子结合。每个论点都要有理由,每个理由要有例子,每个例子要有细节。这句话突出了一个贴切例子的两个要点:首先要论证所讲的道理,这是写例子的前提;再次,例子要有细节。
在这里想要跟大家分享的是如何写出一个有细节的例子呢?比如我们想要别人体会到这个苹果很好吃,那么我们该如何描述表达我们饿感受呢?如果只是在说这个苹果很好吃,你看我就很爱吃。这样很显然是很苍白无力的。但是如果我这么描述:你看这个苹果,又大又红,有种淡淡的果香。轻轻咬一口,清脆香甜,很多汁。那这样是不是你就有感受到这个苹果确实是上等品。那么具体到
Do you agree or disagree with the statement: movies and television programs should always present the stories that good people are rewarded and bad people are punished .
如果我想要论证的观点是:对于小孩子来讲,电影电视节目确实应该呈现这样正向积极的故事情节。道理是小孩子在价值观形成时期易于受外界影响,外界事物的行为容易成为孩子的行为导向。 接下来需要举出一个正面或是反面的例子去论证电视传达的价值观对孩子思想和行为的影响。我们来对比两个例子:
段落一:My little brother James is a good case in point. He watched a cartoon called Naruto. In this cartoon, the main character, also good at fighting, uses his power to against the enemies and protect his family rather than fight with others waywardly. And he is always complimented by people. By contrast, the evils in the cartoon are severely punished finally. Influenced by the plots, he stopped fighting as he want to be awarded did not want to be such a person like bad man in the cartoon who is always published. It is the positive stories that greatly change James.
段落二:My little brother James is a good case in point. James used to be a naughty boy who was notorious for fighting , even his father had fought with him once. Later, he watched a cartoon called Naruto. In this cartoon, the main character, also good at fighting, uses his power to against the enemies and protect his family rather than fight with others waywardly. And he is always complimented by people. By contrast, the evils in the cartoon are severely punished finally. Influenced by the plots, James wanted to be such a boy with brave and wisdom, then he tried to help others like dong the house work, chatting with the olds. Moreover, he stopped fighting as he did not want to be such a person like bad man in the cartoon who is always published. Conspicuously, it’s fair to say that it is the positive stories in the cartoon that greatly change James and provide him the wonderful personalities. If James had not watched, he would not have learned this lesson.
针对这个论点,一个有细节的例子应该是说明白,这个故事的主人公是谁,他看了怎样的动画片,他为什么行为就改变了具体怎么改变的,以及他改变的结果是什么。但是第一个例子就只是在描述他看了一个正向的动画片,然后就改变了行为。那么是主人公到底是一个怎样的人,他受到感染是怎么调整自己行为的,这么调整之后的结果是什么呢?例子中都没有说明白,这就是不细致之处。
与之对比,段落二中,以上提到的问题都一一描述清楚了,就是一个有细节的例子。虽然这个段落的语言比较简单,但是同样可以拿到不错的分数,关键就在于例子论证到位有细节。如果我们的例子能调整为段落二的模式,那么高段位得的例子就出来了。
那么到底需要什么内容的例子呢?例子可以是奥巴马,金正恩,乔布斯,lady gaga, 例子可以是哈利波特,杰克和露丝,金莲和西门庆大官人,例子可以是楼上赵大妈,隔壁王老五,街上卖包子的七舅姥爷,可以是各种求学工作的大表哥大表姐,但这都不是关键,关键的是例子中的谁,做了什么,有姓有名,有时间,有地点,有原因,有事件,有结果。也是举例子的精髓: who , what, how ,why ,result.