雅思写作机经大作文2013年1月12日
题目: In some countries, the parents expect children to spend long time in studying both in and after school and have less free time.
Do you think it has positive or negative effects on children and the society?
Nowadays, parents pay closer attention to children’s academic performance. As a result, some teenagers are ordered to continue acquiring knowledge from course books, even during their spare time. Personally, it has more negative effects on children and the society.
内容详细条目
段落此段结构1 描述现实
2 表达观点
此段功能首段开篇摆明观点:让孩子在业余时间也拼命学习对孩子和社会都有负面影响
Admittedly, acquiring knowledge as much as possible would be high on today’s students’ agenda, especially in this competitive world. Higher educational resource is always limited; as a consequence, it is absolutely justified to allocate the opportunities of sharing advanced learning resources to those who perform well in academic study.
内容详细条目
段落此段结构1 反面论据一：在激烈竞争下，学生确实应该尽量多学知识
2 反面论据二：高等教育资源有限，应当把机会让给努力学习、学有所成的孩子
此段功能本段是文章第二段， 从观点的反面进行让步，使得论述更加客观辩证
However, it should be taken into consideration that students will suffer stifling academic stress if they are loaded with abundant work. Most importantly, if their free time were occupied for further knowledge acquisition, they would have no time to relax their bodies and ease their minds. Not only that, the cultivation of team spirit and interpersonal skills is also very important for the growth of children. Otherwise, the youngsters are more likely to encounter difficulties when they collaborate with colleagues for any group assignment. Words fail to express how important communicative skills are in this rapidly changing world.
内容详细条目
段落此段结构1 正面论据一：学生面临太大压力，无利身心健康
2 正面论据二：不但要培养书本上的知识，还需要培养团队精神和交际能力
此段功能本段是文章第三段，继续从正面论述在家工作的优点
Overall, there is no denying that parents and teachers are supposed to join forces to help children become well-rounded adults in the near future, which is not only reflected in their academic performance, but also on their skills when they cooperate with others.
内容详细条目
段落此段结构全文总结
此段功能再次重申观点
满分要素剖析：
一、 语言表达
本文先从反面让步后从正面论述观点，从论证手法上来说，就非常客观和辩证。同时，本文运用很多客观论证的句型，类似It is…that，不带任何个人感情色彩的有理有据的论证观点，陈述事实。这点在议论文写作中值得借鉴。
1. Higher educational resource is always limited; as a consequence, it is absolutely justified to allocate the opportunities of sharing advanced learning resources to those who perform well in academic study.
本句意为:高等教育的资源是有限的，因此，让学有所成的人拥有高等教育的机会是很公平公正的。句型It is absolutely justified to…可借鉴到同类议论文中。
2. However, it should be taken into consideration that students will suffer stifling academic stress if they are loaded with abundant work.
本句意为：应当考虑到，如果学生学习任务过重，他们会在压力下喘不过气来。句型：It should be taken into consideration that…可借鉴到同类议论文中。
3. Overall, there is no denying that parents and teachers are supposed to join forces to help children become well-rounded adults in the near future, which is not only reflected in their academic performance, but also on their skills when they cooperate with others.
本句运用句型There is no denying that…(毋庸置疑)，再次肯定了论点：家长和教师应当帮助孩子成长为全能型的人才，不但学习成绩好，而且能和人很好的合作和沟通。
二、 逻辑结构
本文是典型的总分总并先破后立的议论文。开篇先陈述事实并表达观点，第二部分从反面进行让步。第三段开始从两个方面正面支持了自身观点。最后一段对全文进行总结。