twe019
Governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways or on inproving public transportation has caused heated debate over a long period of time.Anyway,I agree with the idea that governments should definitely spend more money on improving public transportation,including buses,subways and trains.Anyway,it's unfair to say which is better that the other if we do not see both sides of the story in the following pragraphs.
Some people believe that more money must be put into maintaining the roads because bad conditions of roads may be hidden dangers to drivers.These people point out the fact that the development of roads and highways are not as fast as the increase of vehiches.They also argue that the quantity and quality of roads and highways is a symbol of modernization.
Day after day,more and more cars make several social promblems such as street congestion,rush hour,traffic jam...However,,other people believe that sufficient public transportation will be the best way to sovle the problems above-mentioned.An example can give the details of this argument:a bus can hold about 30 people,which need six cars to hold.
In addition,many public transportations use natural gas,diesel oil for instance,instead of gasoline today.So public transportation would cut down considerably on air pollution.Furthermore,big public transportation system can offer more emplyment opportunities.
As shown above,improve the roads conitions is important.But in my opinion,a perfect public transpotation system is the task of top priorty.
修改意见:
Governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways or on inproving public transportation has caused heated debate over a long period of time.第一句有问题, 出现了两个谓语Anyway,I agree with the idea that governments should definitely spend more money on improving public transportation,including buses,subways and trains.Anyway,it's unfair to say which is better that the other if we do not see both sides of the story in the following pragraphs.既然已表明了观点, 最后一句话出现在这里就不太合适,削弱了你的立场, 最好放在让步分析部分.
Some people believe that more money must be put into maintaining the roads because bad conditions of roads may be hidden dangers to drivers.These people point out the fact that the development of roads and highways are not as fast as the increase of vehiches.They also argue that the quantity and quality of roads and highways is a symbol of modernization.
第一句最好先明确表明你的观点 Day after day,more and more cars make several social promblems such as street congestion,rush hour,traffic jam...However,,other people believe that sufficient public transportation will be the best way to sovle the problems above-mentioned.An example can give the details of this argument:a bus can hold about 30 people,which need six cars to hold.
In addition,many public transportations use natural gas,diesel oil for instance,instead of gasoline today.So public transportation would cut down considerably on air pollution.Furthermore,big public transportation system can offer more emplyment opportunities.
As shown above,improve the roads conitions is important.But in my opinion,a perfect public transpotation system is the task of top priorty.
楼主的语言基础还是可以的, 但似乎对TWE的套路还不熟悉. 为了安全起见, 最好尽快熟悉TWE的八股写法.