托福写作185题库独立范文及解析:第178题

2022-05-30 16:37:01

  为了提高

  The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer.

  The 21st century has begun and it will bring many changes. Although it is too early to say what these changes may be, we can still imagine some.

  First of all, we will be living in a much better environment. As more and more new and high technologies become available, we will be able to reduce most pollutants. Rivers and lakes are clear, with various fishes swimming and wading birds searching for food. Clean energies, such as solar power, will have replaced traditional fossil fuels. So the air is fresh every day. The sky, if it is fine, is always blue. With advanced irrigation systems and enough fresh water, we can eliminate desert and soil erosion. We will have more forests, grassland and farmland. We will not suffer from sandstorms any longer. Wild life will be well protected and we can see diversified species everywhere.

  Second, thanks to bio-tech and other therapies, we are able to live as long as 100 years! Genetic medicine can cure most severe diseases such as cancer and epidemic diseases such as AIDS. We are still energetic after retirement, so we can spend most our spare time traveling to different countries, experiencing various cultures. We of course also have other interesting choices. In the new century, aging is not terrible, but is a special stage of life.

  Third, life in the new century will become more convenient. We do not encounter traffic jams any more as we use high speed and efficient transportation systems. The ideas of flying cars and buses in movies have come true. Besides, computer networks and efficient and effective distribution systems make it possible for us to customize services and goods. Suppose I decide to buy a set of furniture for my new house, I can send my requirement and the data of my house to service providers, then with virtual reality technologies, I can appraise and modify the design repeatedly until I feel satisfied. In the new century, we are living in personalized and convenient circumstances.

  What turns out in the future may be different from what I imagine here, but we are sure to have a better life in a better world.

  满分要素剖析

  一、 语言表达

  1. Although it is too early to say what these changes may be, we can still imagine some. 这是个让步转折句,在让步从句中,还有一个it作形式主语,把这句话还原即为Although to say what these changes may be is too early, we can still imagine some. 这句话在作用上貌似没有什么功能,但是这里提出了一个核心词汇imagine,之后全文就是围绕这个词来进行描述和议论的。

  2. Rivers and lakes are clear, with various fishes swimming and wading birds searching for food. 这句话描写了山清水秀,鸟语花香的环境。其中主句为Rivers and lakes are clear,逗号后面的部分为独立主格表伴随with various fishes swimming and wading birds searching for food.之所以不用现在分词作状语的形式表伴随,是因为前后主语不一致,所以称这个小结构为独立主格。由于其中现在分词结构的出现,使得这样的描写非常生动,读者脑海中瞬间有了一幅鸟儿和鱼儿欢乐活泼的景象。作者对大自然的追求和期许在本段处处可见,比如另一句的We will have more forests, grassland and farmland. 作者把丛林和草坪放在首位,说明这种自然景观非常的重要,而farmland是人为的成果,把它放在最后,这一点细节暗示着作者对它们重要性的重要程度,不容忽视。

  3. We are still energetic after retirement, so we can spend most our spare time traveling to different countries, experiencing various cultures. 这句话是个因果并列句,逻辑词so表结果,最后一部分是现在分词作定语表伴随experiencing various cultures,之所以这句话不必要用独立主格结构是因为前后主语一致,都是we。使用这样的伴随结构好处是强调画面感。另外,作者在这里的动宾搭配用得非常别样,experience various cultures,众所周知,文化是一个国家一个名族最本质的东西,用时间和亲身经历去体验这些,最后得到的就是感受到不同的文化氛围。

  4. In the new century, aging is not terrible, but is a special stage of life. 这句话不仅从语言上极其显写作功底,在意义上也很有哲学色彩。首先,age在这里名词动词化,意为“衰老,变老”,而aging就是变老这件事,在语法上是个动名词形式,表示一件事,是具有动词特征的名词。从句意上理解,老化本来不是一件可怕的事情,而是在生命中的一个特殊阶段。我们想想,为什么人都是害怕衰老的,因为随着年龄的增长,身体欠佳,可能会染上疾病,随着岁月的流失,人们没有年轻时漂亮了等等。但如果未来真像作者想象的那样,出现了更先进的医疗或美容设备,那人们自然就不用担心衰老了,反而,可以用心去体会这段别样的岁月。

  二、 逻辑结构

  本文逻辑结构清晰明了,一共分为五个段落来论证,除去首段和尾段,中间的正文段落用了正正正的写作结构。总的来说,全文是基于现实生活中的美好想象,整体格调积极乐观,对未来充满希望。具体来看,作者第一段给出讨论背景,点明虽然21世纪才刚刚开始,但是我们仍然可以imagine一些未来的画面,这里的imagine是个极其核心的词汇,基本上通篇作者都在围绕这个词来描述。第二段作者具体地对better environment展开联想,主要是环境的治理方面会得到很大的改善。第三段作者对人们的健康身体抱有美好愿望,主要讲的是由于医学技术的发达,可以让人们都更加年轻和长寿,并且抵御一些现阶段无法医治的疾病。第四段作者开始对未来生活的便利性进行想象。最后总结,说明作者的美好愿望可能很难一一实现,但是依然坚信,未来一定会比现在要更好!

  独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库,收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中,在托福考试改革之前,是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大,但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连,为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解,从考题精读,头脑风暴,范文展示,甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入,将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析,以思路指导清晰其面貌,以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性,提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径,准确击碎写作障碍。

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