为了提高
Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land? Use specific detail to explain your answer.
Land is a valuable resource, and it is important to use it in an effective manner so that it provides the greatest benefit to all. I therefore propose to use the land to build a campground. At the present time, there’s little low-cost recreation in the area where I live. Building a campground would change that trend, and would ultimately make our neighborhood a more enjoyable environment for everyone.
Local entertainment in my neighborhood is also far too expensive. A nice evening out can cost as much as one hundred dollars, which is exorbitant based on the average salary. Even movies and other typically low-cost forms of entertainment are no longer cheap. Further, there are no real recreational facilities nearby. There are no parks within 30 miles. There are very few basketball courts, and most of those are in poor condition.
Building a campground could change all that. Staying overnight at a campground is very inexpensive. It can cost as little as thirty dollars. Further, there could be a sports area and picnic tables for use by campers, or even those who do not wish to stay overnight. A campground would provide a lot of activities for very little money.
The result of building a campground would be that many more people would be able to afford an enjoyable evening out. Campgrounds also promote healthy living. People can get out and breathe fresh air. They can walk and bike and play basketball or other sports. That is certainly better than spending an evening sitting down, eating buttery popcorn in a movie theater.
A campground will make the area beautiful as well as functional. We have many wonderful natural resources, but we need to cultivate them and cherish them. In addition to all the other good things it can bring, building a campground will help us do just that.
满分要素剖析
一、 语言表达
本文的语言着重在逻辑连接词的使用等一系列细节处理上，这对于议论文来说是很重要的，将每个部分之间的关系完整地呈现出来，对于清晰文章的架构有很大的帮助。另外有一些结构的使用起到了强调，或者语气氛围的营造，这也是细节上面的胜利。
1、I therefore propose to use the land to build a campground.首先therefore主语后面插入，承接上下文关系，表示因此。Propose表示提议，建议，也有propose a toast祝酒这样的搭配，propose还有求婚的意思，做动词使用，propose to sb.,因此这个词语也是一个可以多用的很划算的词汇。
2、Further, there are no real recreational facilities nearby.句首用further表示进一步，附加的说明，将上下句很好地连接起来。Recreational表示娱乐的，recreation是名词形式，相当于entertainment休闲娱乐。Nearby表示附近的，和near意思相近，可以做副词也可以做形容词。
3、It can cost as little as thirty dollars. as little as虽然是表示和30刀一样价值的对等关系，但是在这里更起到强调其价格便宜的作用，也就是强调little。
4、We have many wonderful natural resources, but we need to cultivate them and cherish them. 这句话中cultivate和cherish都是很常用的动词词汇，分别表示培养和珍惜。这句话是用平常的语言道出深意的例子，流露出作者最真诚的想法。
二、 逻辑结构
文章是先从提出问题这个环节开始，介绍社区里娱乐设施的缺乏和价格的不合理，然后以提出解决方法的形式道出建立一个野营地的好处：增加了人们休闲娱乐的场地，价格合理并且会促进人们过上健康的生活。这种提出问题，解决问题的方式也让文章的脉络非常清晰，层次丰富，而不只是提出论点，用分论点论证，最后总结的格局。这也是一种可借鉴的论证方式。
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