为了提高
It has recently been announced that a new movies theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
Some people will say that a new movie theater in our neighborhood would be a bad thing. However, I fully support the plan to build one. I feel that a movie theater would bring more opportunities for recreation, reduce teenage delinquency, and lead to several other improvements in the town.
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本段是一个分总的结构。首先第一句话提出了社会上一种错误的想法，后面用however转折引出了作者与众不同的论点。 |
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本段是文章首段，引入论题，并进行简单分析讨论，最后点明作者立场。 |
As it stands, there is little to do in my town. There are no parks here, and there is certainly no nightlife. Additionally, the nearest movies theater is more than thirty minutes away. That is inconvenient for everyone here. Many movies end late at night. Who wants a long drive home at 11:30 p.m. or midnight?
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本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，建造剧院没什么用。后面对主旨进行了简要分析。并举了一个比较具体的例子。 |
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本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，对整篇文章进行了让步。 |
Building a new movie theater here will also reduce juvenile delinquency. Like everyone else, teens here are bored and need activities to keep them busy and out of trouble. The jobs that the theatre will provide will help teens, too. We need more businesses that are willing and eager to employ young people. By providing entertainment and jobs for young people, we lay the foundation for a good future of leaders and workers.
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本段是一个总分总的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。本段可以分为两个部分，第一部分主要说建造剧院可以提高就业率，提供更多工作。第二部分从we need…开始，讲了剧院对年轻人的益处。最后一句话对全段进行了总结，即剧院益处多多。 |
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本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场，即应当建造剧院，利大于弊。 |
Overall, the new theater will bring many more improvements to the town, For example, it will help other businesses. That is because the movie theater will attract customers from neighboring towns. Currently those people do not have a reason to come to this town. However, if they are coming here for a movie, they will be more likely to stay here to shop, eat and do other activities. If we get more visitors, we’ll need better roads. While this may be costly, it will also make travel easier for people living here. We will be able to get around faster. Safety will also be improved by the development of new roads with more recent and modern safety, technology and quality. I believe that our town needs a new movie theater. I support it fully because of the many direct and indirect benefits provided to both local and neighboring communities. I hope that others in our community will join me to convince residents and the local government to implement such a program.
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本段是总分的结构。可以分为两个部分，第一个部分是对所有剧院可能带来的利益的总结。第二部分主要是作者表达希望自己的城镇可以建新的剧院的希望，重申论点。 |
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本段是文章的尾段，承接上文，又再次提出来剧院可能带来的益处，并进行了上文段的概括分析，同时帮助作者重申论点。 |
满分因素剖析：
一、语言表达
文章语句通顺，句子比较短小精悍，简单易懂，错误较少。在用词方面，文章没有太难的词汇，但用词准确地道，例如“juvenile delinquency”就是一种很准确的表达。在托福写作中，有些同学刻意去使用一些自己从未使用过的高难词汇，长难句型，往往出现很多错误，而且词不达意，从而得到很低的分数。因此，那些在写作方面没有很多积累的同学，可以学习这篇文章的写法。
1. I feel that a movie theater would bring more opportunities for recreation, reduce teenage delinquency, and lead to several other improvements in the town.
此句出现在开头段的最后，句中中，that引导宾语从句，做谓语动词feel的宾语，提出本文的的三个分论点，起到引出下文的作用。句中用到高级词汇“delinquency”特指青少年犯罪，这里的使用非常准确地道。
2. As it stands, there is little to do in my town.
此句中，as引导方式状语从句，可以翻译成“伴随着”，用来描述一种现象或背景。当然，此句还可以用让as引导的让步状语从句的形式来写，即stand as it，这是从句表示的是一种让步转折。There is little to do的意思是“对...没有作用，与...没有关系”.
3. By providing entertainment and jobs for young people, we lay the foundation for a good future of leaders and workers.
此句中，动词短语provide sth for sb的意思是“为某人提供某物”，同样的用法还有“provide sb with sth”。动词短语lay the foundation for的意思是“为...奠定基础”是一个很大很抽象的表达，可以用来表示某种原因引起的巨大后果。
二、逻辑结构
文章采用让步的结构，前面先对建造theater进行了让步，但是后面详细分析以后，又让读者承认了我们有必要在自己的城镇里建造剧院。文章中用了许多利弊分析，即对比，充实了内容。并且举了很多作者的城镇的真实经历，使得文章更加的具有可读性。文章句子比较短小精悍，没有太难的词汇，简单易懂，错误较少。
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