为了提高
It has recently been announced that large shopping center may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
There would be both advantages and disadvantages to having a shopping center built in my neighborhood. One advantage would be the convenience. I would like to have all those stores close by. Shopping would be much easier and faster because I wouldn't have to drive great distances to get to the stores.
|
|
内容 |
详细条目 |
|
段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，即购物中心有好有话。后面对主旨进行了利弊分析。 |
|
此段功能 |
本段是文章的首段，引出要讨论的话题，并点明作者观点进行简单分析，引出下文。 |
A shopping center would mean more choices, because there would be more stores selling different products. I might have a movie theater nearby, because so many shopping centers these days include movie theaters in their plans. Most shopping centers also have restaurants and a food court. That means a greater variety of places to eat in our area.
|
|
内容 |
详细条目 |
|
段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，即购物商场给我们更多选择。后面对主旨进行了简要分析。本段可以分为两部分，即第一部分说购物商场给我们的商品选择，第二个部分说购物商场还给我们带来了其他娱乐。 |
|
此段功能 |
本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。 |
Having a shopping center built in the neighborhood would also mean more jobs for the community. Initially, the construction of new establishments will be a source of jobs; later the jobs would be in the stores, theaters, food establishments and other service and product industries.
|
|
内容 |
详细条目 |
|
段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，购物商场带来更多工作。后面对主旨进行了简要分析。 |
|
此段功能 |
本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。 |
Of course, there would be some disadvantages, too. Probably the biggest problem would be traffic. A lot of people would come to the shopping center. They’d drive through our neighborhood to get to the center. In addition, if there wasn't enough parking at the center, they might look for parking space near our homes. A shopping center might also invite more crime into our neighborhood. Parking lots after dark are a big temptation to robbers. They know people are there with money to spend. The shopping center might also become a place where unruly teenagers would gather. This could cause trouble. Our town would need a community center for them to go to instead.
|
|
内容 |
详细条目 |
|
段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，购物商场也有弊端。 |
|
此段功能 |
本段是文章的第四段，也就是正文第三段，对全文进行了让步，即购物商场有利也有弊。 |
On the whole, though, I think my neighborhood should support having a shopping center built here. It would bring more variety to our shopping, give us the opportunity to amuse ourselves at movies theaters and restaurants, and bring more jobs into the area.
|
|
内容 |
详细条目 |
|
段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，即作者支持建造购物商场。 |
|
此段功能 |
本段是文章尾段，对文章进行了总结和承接上文，并重述了观点。 |
满分因素剖析
一、语言表达
文章语言比较平实，论证恰到好处，没有过多用来炫技的语句，很少有语法或逻辑错误，读起来清晰自然。
1. Shopping would be much easier and faster because I wouldn't have to drive great distances to get to the stores.
此句中，副词much用来修饰形容词比较级easier和faster，起到了强调作用， 同时也使句子更加丰满。可以修饰比较级的副词还有far，less等，大家在写作写到形容词时，不妨在前面增加一个副词，这样可以使句子更加优美，吸引考官眼球。
2. A shopping center would mean more choices, because there would be more stores selling different products.
此句中，主句从句都出现了would，暗含一种虚拟语气。虚拟语气在写作中的应用非常广泛，既可以表达一种推测，又可以表达对于当前现象的不满。结合文章，此虚拟语气句对未来情况做出大胆假设，概括了作者的观点，同时抓住了读者的眼球。
3. Initially, the construction of new establishments will be a source of jobs; later the jobs would be in the stores, theaters, food establishments and other service and product industries.
此句中，副词initially的意思是“开始”，同义词还有“at first, in the beginning”，可以成为这两个常用词汇的一种高级替换。Initially通常出现在一段阐述的开头，引出后面一系列变化。此句中描述了从new establishments建造开始引发的一系列变化，内容很充实，很具体，描绘出很长的一条逻辑链，使得论证更有力度。
二、逻辑结构
本文采用大正小负的支持态度，即正正补,简单易懂。文章中使用了让步的修辞方式，告诉我们建造购物商场有利有弊，但是利大于弊。这种让步的写法让文章更加可信，而且逻辑严谨，因为观点中绝对的少而相对的多。
独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库，收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中，在托福考试改革之前，是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大，但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连，为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解，从考题精读，头脑风暴，范文展示，甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入，将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析，以思路指导清晰其面貌，以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性，提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径，准确击碎写作障碍。
版权声明：本文系网独家稿件，版权为网所有。转载须注明来源及作者，否则必将追究法律责任。
微信扫描下方二维码，第一时间知晓托福考试真题预测及解析，还有北美留学最新动态喔~(微信号：toefl120)!