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A person you know is planning to move to your town or city .What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
I’d say the quality of life in my town, as far as fun and activities are concerned, is very good. The quality of life isn't very good, though, in other important ways. If someone I know were to move to my town, I would like to first inform them about these differences.
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本段第一句话帮助引出了背景，第二句话对此进行了分析，第三句话帮助引出后文。 |
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本段是文章的首段，提出背景，引出论题，并点明作者的观点。 |
Living in a lager city is exciting, but you pay a price for it. There are lots of interesting things to do, and good restaurants with food from around the world. There are museums, art galleries, and lots of movie theaters. However, the crime rate is high, and people have to be careful about where they go at night. There's a lot of traffic most of the time, and finding a parking space can be a problem. There are also a lot of people living here. Sometimes it feels too crowded.
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本段是一个总分的结构。本段可以分为两个部分，第一部分说大城市的玩乐很多，第二部分进行了转折，告诉了我们大城市crowded这个弊端。 |
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本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。 |
In a big city like mine, housing is very expensive. If costs a lot even if you're just renting an efficiency apartment. The good side is that there's a lot of choice about where you want to live and how you want to live. You can find apartments of all sizes in different settings. Houses of equal variety are available for sale or rent.
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本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面对主旨进行了简要分析，并举了作者自己的例子。 |
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本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。 |
If my friend likes the great outdoors, she might be disappointed. Unfortunately, my city doesn't have a lot of wide open green spaces, and there aren't a lot of trees on the streets. We're not near the ocean, and the mountains are a day's drive from here. Still, we do have some natural areas. For example, we have a beautiful big park. It even has a lake in the middle that's used for ice skating in the winter. There’s a different kind of beauty in the city than that found in the countryside. Thinking about it, I suppose whether my friend likes my city will depend on whether or not she likes exciting places. I hope she likes a lot of variety as far as housing and activities are concerned. If she does, then this is the place for her.
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段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，即大城市一般绿化都不如小城市好。后面第对主旨进行了简要分析。最后收束了全文，对文章观点进行总结，让朋友按需搬家，要考虑到大城市的缺点再做决定。 |
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本段是文章的第四段，也就是正文第三段，写了支持作者立场的第三个分论点。 |
满分因素剖析：
一、语言表达
本文语言朴实，并没有应用很多华丽的辞藻，用到的词汇多是高中和四级词汇，但表达清楚，逻辑清晰，通俗易懂。在句式方面，本文句式多变，作者熟练使用条件状语从句，宾语从句，主语从句，表语从句。且句子长短得当，表达自然流畅，并没有刻意炫技。这样的文章很清晰，也是会受到考官的青睐。
1. Thinking about it, I suppose whether my friend likes my city will depend on whether or not she likes exciting places
此句中，短语think about it的意思是“考虑一下吧”，这是一种口语化的表达，在作文中应用口语化的表达可以使文章看起来更加亲切，拉近了与读者间的距离，但这种口语化的表达在文中不能用的太多，否则会使文章的思辨性大打折扣。此句还是一从句嵌套的复合结构。句中第一个whether引导主语从句，做主句的主句，第二个whether引导宾语从句，做主句谓语depend on的宾语。
2. The good side is that there's a lot of choice about where you want to live and how you want to live.
此句中，that引导表语从句，做主句的表语。表语从句放在系动词之后，充当复合句中的表语。在写作中，可以用表语从句来表示原因，代替because：如：The reason is that ... 也可以用来阐释建议：如My suggestion is that you should...
二、逻辑结构
本文采用大正小负的支持态度，即补正正简单易懂。文章中使用了让步的修辞方式，告诉我们有时候住在大城市还是不错的。这种让步的写法让文章更加可信，而且逻辑严谨，因为观点中绝对的少而相对的多。
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