为了提高
In general ,people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
Today people are living to be much older than ever before. Some of the main reasons for this are the improved health care and better nutrition available to everyone.
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本段是一个分总的结构。首先第一句话提供了要讨论的背景，引出了要讨论的话题。那么接下来第二句话摆明了作者对此的观点，即人们生活的更长是因为他们更加健康而且摄入了更多营养。 |
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本段是文章的首段，引出了要讨论的问题和作者对此的观点看法。 |
Medical care is more available to people now than in the past. Although not everyone can get the best health care, everyone can get basic heath care and advice. When people are seriously ill, they can go to a public hospital and receive treatment. Years ago, health care wasn't available to everyone. Some people didn't live near a doctor or a hospital, and others couldn't pay for the care they needed. They made do with herbal medicines or folk remedies. Of course, some of these worked, but not for the more serious diseases. The quality of medical care has improved. That’s also a factor in longevity. Doctors know more now about what causes disease and how to treat them., Years ago, doctors only knew about the most basic diseases and cures. Medicine was not very advanced. You could die from something as simple as an infection from a cut. Now we have antibiotics and other medicines to help cure infections.
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本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，些了现在的医疗更加发达了。第二句话是一个让步。第三句话对论点进行了假设分析。后面将现在的医疗情况与多年以前的医疗情况进行了对比，凸显了现在医疗水平的进步。本文可以分为多个层次，每一个层次都是从不同面的今昔对比。 |
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本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。 |
People are also living longer now because of better nutrition. We're eating better and more healthfully than we used to .This has reduced the number of people with heart disease and cancer. We try to eat low-fat foods and eat more vegetable and fruits which are now available year-round.
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本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面对主旨进行了简要分析。结构比较简单，没有分层。 |
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本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。 |
Improved medical care and healthy eating habits has greatly extended our life spans. What we need to do now is make sure that everyone in the world has these benefits.
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本段是只有两句话，第一句话承接了上文，对上文的叙述进行了总结。第二句话呼吁人们都享受到这样的生活进步带来的benefit。 |
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本段是文章的尾段，承接上文，对上文进行了总结，并重申了论点。 |
满分因素剖析
一、语言表达
与其他满分作文相比，本文语言略显平淡。不过几乎没有语法错误和逻辑错误，语言明了，文章清晰易懂。在托福写作中，有些同学刻意去使用一些自己从未使用过的高难词汇，长难句型，往往出现很多错误，而且词不达意，从而得到很低的分数。因此，那些在写作方面没有很多积累的同学，可以学习这篇文章的写法。
1. We try to eat low-fat foods and eat more vegetable and fruits which are now available year-round.
此句
2. Improved medical care and healthy eating habits has greatly extended our life spans.
此句中，非谓语动词improved作定语，用来修饰名词短语medical care。这种非谓语动词做定语的写法定语从句更加简练，尤其是在短定语修饰的时候，比如本句，非谓语动词improved就相当于一个形容词。
二、逻辑结构
本文是正正的大正型的支持形式，两个正面段都支持了主论点，结构简单，逻辑严谨。
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