托福写作185题库独立范文及解析:第2题

2022-05-18 02:17:20

  为了提高

  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  Throughout my life, I have been lucky enough to have a very good relationship with my parents. They have supported me, given me necessary criticism, and taught me a great deal about how to live my life. Parents can be very important teachers in our lives; however, they are not always the best teachers.

 

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段落

此段结构

本段是一个分总的结构。首先第一句话引出了本文要讨论的内容。后面第二句话对此进行了简要分析。最后一句话用however转折,陈述出了作者与众不同的看法,并点出本文主论点。

此段功能

本段是文章首段,对文章要讨论的内容提供了背景和话题,然后点明了作者立场,并提出论点。

  Parents may be too close to their children emotionally. Sometimes they can only see their children though the eyes of a protector. For example, they may limit a child's freedom in the name of safety. A teacher might see a trip to a big city as a valuable new experience. However, this excursion might seem too dangerous to a parent.

 

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段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,即家长和孩子的感情上关系太近(所以不是最好的老师)。第二句话对主旨进行了简要分析。后面是补充的作者的一个生活中例子,生动具体。最后用一个however转折,对此例子进行总结概括,帮助论证了小观点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。

  Another problem is that parents may expect their children's interests to be similar to their own. They can't seem to separate from their children in their mind. If they love science, they may try to force their child to love science too. But what if their child's true love is art, or writing, or car repair?

 

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段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。第二句话对主旨进行了简要分析。后面是补充的一个例子,有关爱科学的家长,帮助论证了分论点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。

  Parents are usually eager to pass on their values to their children. But should children always believe what their parents do? Maybe different generations need different ways of thinking. When children are young, they believe that their parents are always rights. But when they get older, they realize that other views exist. Sometimes parents, especially older ones, can't keep up with rapid social or technological changes. A student who has friends of all different races and backgrounds at school may find that his/her parents don't really understand or value this kind of social diversity. Sometimes kids have to find their own direction and their own beliefs.

 

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段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。本段分为两个部分,是递进关系。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。第二句话用but转折,引出了一个设问。这个设问句抛出了后面对本论点的分析。后面举了一个例子,说了现在社会的多样性可能不能被他们的旧时代的家长所理解,所以家长并不是孩子最好的老师。进一步得出,孩子们应该自己去寻找方向,佐证了本段分论点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第四段,也就是正文第三段,写了支持作者立场的第三个分论点。

  The most important thing to realize is that we all have many teachers in our lives. Our parents teach us, our teachers teach us, and our peers teach us. Books and newspapers and television also teach us through the information they provide about the world. All of these sources are valuable. In conclusion, though parents are our first and perhaps most important teachers, they are not the exclusive and only teachers in our lives. Many people, social organizations and media forms all contribute to our education and influence us greatly.

 

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段落

此段结构

本段分为两个小部分。第一个小部分是对文章上一部分的概括总结,让步地承认家长是我们的老师,但绝对不是唯一的老师。后面用in conclusion引出本段第二部分,重申了论点,升华出我们的老师其实还有很多,比如Many people, social organizations and media forms。

此段功能

本段是文章的尾段,对上文进行了总结和升华,并重申了论点。

  满分因素剖析:

  一、语言表达:

  本文的语言使用非常优美,句式富于多变,长短句搭配合理,运用了大量从句和非谓语动词结构,使考官眼前一亮。而在用词上,文中词汇运用十分地道,表达生动,凸显了作者的很厉害的语言功底。这些都使得文章更加吸引考官的眼球。美句鉴赏:

  1. Another problem is that parents may expect their children's interests to be similar to their own.

  此句中出现一个表语从句,that引导的表语从句放在系动词之后,充当复合句中的表语。在写作中,可以用表语从句来表示原因,代替because:如:The reason is that ... 也可以用来阐释建议:如My suggestion is that you should...

  2. Many people, social organizations and media forms all contribute to our education and influence us greatly.

  此句中,动词短语contribute to意思为“对。。。产生贡献”,同义词还有make contribution to。在托福

  3. Sometimes parents, especially older ones, can't keep up with rapid social or technological changes.

  Especially older ones是一个插入语结构,用来补充说明主语parents。插入语结构在托福和

  动词短语Keep up with的意思是“跟上,紧随”,同义词是follow,catch up with。Keep ut with social change这种表达在托福和GRE写作中经常出现,用于过去现在对比类文章,意思为“与时俱进”。

  4. But what if their child's true love is art, or writing, or car repair?

  此句是作者在论证中用到的一个反问句。句中出现短语“what if”,意思为“要是。。。那会怎样?这种反问的表达增加了文章的语气和论证的力度,同时是文章更富于思辨性,给文章添彩。大家在备考托福GRE作文中议论文是不妨尝试使用反问句。

  5. A student who has friends of all different races and backgrounds at school may find that his/her parents don't really understand or value this kind of social diversity.

  此句是一个多从句嵌套的复合句结构。Who引导定语从句,放在名词的后面,作名词student的定语,起修饰作用。That引导宾语从句,接在及物动词find的后面,做find的宾语。Friends of different races意识是不同种族的朋友,这种A of different B的形式可以在托福作文中广泛使用。

  二、逻辑结构

  本文采用正正正的结构,三个正面的支持段落构成了本文完全支持的大正基调。作者的论证十分饱满,从多角度考虑问题,文中用到很多让步结构,这样一方面是文章在语气上更加强烈,另一方面使论证在逻辑上更加完整。本文的另一个亮点就是开头结尾写的非常充实。不是只有开门见山总结全文,用了让步的手法对家长对孩子的教育意义进行了肯定,进一步提出家长教育孩子的局限性。结尾部分写的非常充实。用了让步的手法对家长对孩子的教育意义进行了肯定,因为观点中绝对的少儿相对的多。最后又对文章进行了升华,点出了老师不是我们唯一的老师,我们的老师还可能有其他人,或者媒体等等,将文章上升到了一个新的层面。

  独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库,收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中,在托福考试改革之前,是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大,但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连,为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解,从考题精读,头脑风暴,范文展示,甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入,将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析,以思路指导清晰其面貌,以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性,提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径,准确击碎写作障碍。

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