托福写作185题库独立范文及解析:第7题

2022-06-01 13:36:05

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   How do movies or television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

  Do movies and television affect our behavior? A special concern is whether movies and television make children and society more violent. I believe that movies and television do influence our behavior, both for the better and for the worse.

 

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此段结构

本段先用一个设问引出了本文要讨论的问题。第二句话提出了本文的一个背景和社会的激烈讨论点。最后用I believe引出了作者对此和看法和本文的主论点。

此段功能

本段是文章首段,对文章要讨论的内容提供了背景和社会上激烈讨论的话题,然后点明了作者立场,并提出论点。

  Movies do make people more violent. The more we see violent acts on television, the less sensitive we become to them. Eventually violence doesn’t seem wrong; because we are habituated to violence, we may even commit violent acts ourselves. This is especially true because we don’t always realize that violence has consequences. Actors can be killed and come back for another movie. Sometimes we confuse that with reality. We forget that killing someone in real life is permanent.

 

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此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,。后面第二、三句话对主旨进行了简要分析。后面是补充的作者这样推理的一些原因,然后举了一个actor的例子。然后对例子进行了简要分析,进而佐证了本分论点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。这一段是写的电视的坏处。

  Movies and television also influence our behavior because they make us less active. Looking at films is a passive activity. If we watch too much, we become unhealthy, both mentally and physically. This lethargy has many negative effects. We stop using our own imagination when we see things acted out for us. This mental laziness becomes physical laziness; we’d rather watch sports on to than play sports ourselves. We’d rather visit with the characters on “Seinfeld” or “Friends” than go chat with our own neighbors. Imaginary people have exciting lives. Is it any wonder that some people would rather live a fantasy life than in their own?

 

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此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,。后面第二句话对主旨进行了简要分析。后面是补充的作者小时候的一个例子,生动具体,帮助论证了小孩子可以从错误中学习这个观点。

此段功能

本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。这一段是写的电视的坏处。

  Of course, watching movies and television can also be good for us. It can give us a broader window on the world. For example, seeing movies can expose us to people of different races and cultures. We can then overcome some prejudices more easily. The best influence on our behavior is that movies and television reduce stress. Watching films, we can escape our own problems for a little while. Also, sometime movies show positive ways to resolve problems we all face. While TV and movies shouldn’t be a way to hide from life, sometimes they can help us cope.

 

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此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。本段分为三个小部分展开。第一个个小部分写了电视可以扩展我们的视野,并用一个看电影的例子来正事。第二个小部分说了电视可以帮助我们减压。最后一个小部分用also来引导,告诉了我们电视可以帮助我们应对生活中的问题,而不是逃避。

此段功能

本段是文章的第四段,也就是正文第三段,写了电视的好处。与前两个段相反。

  It is true that movies and television can influence our behavior negatively. However, I also believe that they influence our behaviors in positive ways. How they affect you depends on how much you watch, what you watch, and how you respond to what you watch.

 

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段落

此段结构

本段是文章尾段。第一句话对上文进行了承接,第二句话用一个however告诉了我们要具体问题具体分析。最后一句话对本文中立的观点进行了重述。

此段功能

本段是文章尾段。第一句话对上文进行了承接了上文,重述论点。

  满分因素剖析:

  一、语言表达

  这篇文章的在语言方面非常下功夫,可以看出作者扎实的语言功底。在句子方面,作者熟练运用定语从句,宾语从句,主语从句,表语从句,状语从句等多种复合句式,可谓是从句的“百科全书”。同时,本文长难句与简单句交错出现,主动与被动,陈述句与疑问句结合,读上去很有节奏感。在用词方面,作者熟练使用各种连词,副词,使文章逻辑通畅,态度清晰。

  1. I believe that movies and television do influence our behavior, both for the better and for the worse.

  此句中,作者用到了一个强调结构。do 在强调句中是只强调谓语动词的,放在谓语动词前,后接动词原形。这种强调结构专门强调谓语,而常用的it is... that结构可以强调除谓语的任何结构。

  2. The more we see violent acts on television, the less sensitive we become to them.

  此句中出现了the more。。。,the more。。。的结构,意思是“越。。。引起越。。。”。前后两个more都是比较级的形式。这种句型在托福考试中可以阐释原因引起的结果,前面的the more接原因,后面的the more接结果。大家可以记住这种表达,在阐释原因是代替because,可以使文章句子更加优美。

  3. This mental laziness becomes physical laziness; we’d rather watch sports on to than play sports ourselves. We’d rather visit with the characters on “Seinfeld” or “Friends” than go chat with our own neighbors.

  句型would rather do..., than...意思是“宁愿做。。。,也不愿意做。。。”此句中用到了一个并列结构,两句话中都出现了would rather do..., than...的结构,两句句式对仗,读上去朗朗上口,不仅使得论证语气更加强烈,同时使文章语言富于美感。

  4. How they affect you depends on how much you watch, what you watch, and how you respond to what you watch.

  此句是一个多种从句嵌套的复合句结构。第一个How引导主语从句,做主句的主语。而第二个第三个how和中间的what引导宾语从句,做及物短语depend on的宾语。而最后一个what引导宾语从句,做第三个how引导的宾语从句中respond to的宾语。此句虽然不是很长,但句式多变,足见作者的功底。

  二、逻辑结构

  不同于一般正负态度鲜明的托福作文,本文接近一个中立的观点,对事物的利弊两个方面都做了客观的分析。电视有利有弊,关键要让我们具体事情具体分析。这样中立的观点在独立写作中并不多见,比较难以拿捏,一不小心就可能写成了偏题跑题或者观点不明确。但是本文写的利弊非常得当,逻辑严谨,结构清晰,相信这个中立的观点是本文得到满分的必要因素。文章三个正文段采用弊弊利的分析模式,尤其是分析电视好处的利段,分成多个部分展开,非常充实。文段展开的多层次和逻辑的递进是论证拿高分的关键。

  独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库,收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中,在托福考试改革之前,是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大,但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连,为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解,从考题精读,头脑风暴,范文展示,甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入,将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析,以思路指导清晰其面貌,以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性,提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径,准确击碎写作障碍。

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