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Some people think that the family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with? Use examples to support your position.
Although friends make an impression on life, they do not have the same influence that your family has. Nothing is as important as family. From the beginning of our lives, we are surrounded by family. I learned everything that is important from my family.
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段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个分总的结构。第一句就摆明作者的态度，说明家庭对人的影响比朋友大。之后对其进行了详细解释，说明了家庭的重要性，说明最后一句话是本文主论点。 |
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此段功能 |
本段是文章首段，引出要讨论内容，帮助作者陈述观点，摆明立场。 |
Your family is with you forever no matter what. Family will not leave you because they find another daughter or son. Family will not leave you because they think you are too much trouble. A family is permanent, while friends come and go.
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段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个总分总的结构，告诉了我们家庭不会离开我们，值得我们永远依靠。 |
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此段功能 |
本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。 |
Your parents are your role models, your idols and best models of behavior. They will encourage you to do your best, to push yourself, and to improve yourself. They won’t judge you but will do everything in their power to help you. Friends want you to stay the same: they don’t want you to be different. A family promotes growth; friends promote stability but not development.
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段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个总分总的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，家庭给你带来了榜样效果。后面对主旨进行了简要分析。最后一句话把家庭与朋友进行对比，重申本段分论点。 |
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此段功能 |
本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。 |
Your family teaches you about love. A family’s love is not judgmental. They love you for you. Friends may love you because you have a new car or your clothes. Their love is conditional. A family loves you; friends only like you. Without my family, I wouldn’t feel as secure. I might not have the ambition to go to school and push myself knowing that I can fall back on them. I probably would be afraid to love. My family is my greatest treasure.
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详细条目 |
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段落 |
此段结构 |
本段是一个总分总的结构。可以分为两个层次。第一个层次是首句先点出了家庭教会了我们如何去爱，然后进行了简单的补充分析。第二个层次是对全文的收束总结，并举了一个家人帮助我们上学的例子，重申了论点，即家人是我们最大的宝藏。 |
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此段功能 |
本段是文章的第四段，也就是正文第三段，写了支持作者立场的第三个分论点。同时帮助了收束全文，重申主观点。 |
满分要素剖析
一、语言表达
1. Although friends make an impression on life, they do not have the same influence that your family has.本句话是个让步转折句，这里重点是强调转折后的句子they do not have the same influence that your family has.说明即便朋友的作用再大，也没有家庭的大。转折后的主句中又有一个定语从句that your family has修饰influence，引导词that在从句中做宾语。
2. I learned everything that is important from my family. 定语从句that is important from my family，that在从句中作主语。值得注意的是，当先行词是不定代词 something, anything, nothing, everything或为指物的代词all, little, few, much, none, the first时，引导词只能用that，不能用which。
3. A family is permanent, while friends come and go.这句话是个转折对比句，family对应friends，permanent对应come and go. 这句话用另一种说法是A family is permanent, while friends are momentary， 这样的表达虽然也是很不错，但是没有本文的表达精彩，momentary意为暂时的，转瞬即逝的，这种描述虽然能给读者一个态度，但是若用come and go就有动作性在其中了，生动到可以上读者联想到一幅场景：人生的道路上有各种朋友不断地与我们相遇相离，而只有家人一直陪伴着我们。
4. A family promotes growth; friends promote stability but not development. 文中有很多看似不长但是意味深长的句子，这句话就是个典型。首先promote这个词用得就非常恰当，在英式词典里的解释是：to help something to develop or increase。当然我们也可以改写成A family gives us growth; friends give us stability but not development. 从句意上理解，我们可以理解为家庭给我们提供的是可持续发展的成长，而朋友更倾向于稳定但是没有发展。其实，这里朋友给与的是一种中庸，是一种希望同伴与之保持一致的选择，就如作者上文所提到的Friends want you to stay the same: they don’t want you to be different.
5. I might not have the ambition to go to school and push myself knowing that I can fall back on them. 这里需要解释个词组的意思，fall back on是求助于。句子结构是个并列句，第二句话由于主语一致的原因省略的主语I，短语push sb doing sth是强迫某人做某事，之后that引出宾语从句。这句话可以改写为 If you do not have the courage to go to school, you can just confirm yourself that there is a family for you to go back and depend on.
二、逻辑结构
本文的逻辑结构非常简单明了，全文采用正正正正的段落来论证，第一段就开门见山地点名笔者更倾向于family给的影响大，紧接着就罗列出了family的优势，第一是我们与父母相处时间长，From the beginning of our lives, we are surrounded by family. 第二段是第二条优势，父母不会离开我们Your family is with you forever no matter what.但是朋友就是合合离离的。第三段为第三条优势，即A family promotes growth; friends promote stability but not development. 第四段说明了最后一点，即父母的爱是无条件的，让人有安全感。
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