为了提高
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The absolute most important aspect of a job is the money earned. When I get a job I want to earn as much money as I can. If I earn a lot of money, others will know I am successful, smart, and a good potential marriage partner.
Money equals success. So If I earn a lot of money, I can buy nice things for myself and the people I care about, like my parents and friends. This way, everyone around me will know I am rich, successful and happy.
Earning a lot of money also indicates how smart I am. It takes a lot of brains to make money. Moreover, when I earn a lot of money, my mother will find me the perfect good wife. She will be able to tell many people what an important job her son has and it will make it easy for her to find a wife for me since many girls want to marry a rich man.
I don't really care what kind of work I must do as long as I can make lots of money. That's the bottom line for me. Having an excellent, prestigious job will show everyone that I am successful, smart, and a good catch!
满分要素剖析
一、 语言表达
本文语言非常简单,甚至没有用到任何高难的词汇。而且句子也以短句为主,这也说明我们在托福写作中并不需要使用高难的词汇和句式,只要能够逻辑清晰,表意明白,就能够得到不错的分数。
1. If I earn a lot of money, others will know I am successful, smart, and a good potential marriage partner. 这句话在结构上是一个主将从现的句子,在句式上本没有太多的新意,但是在其内容上写得很有趣。首先,作者一直是非常在意别人对自己的评价和看法,那么从几方面比较重要呢,于是作者开始进行总结,一共有三个方面很重要,第一是是否成功successful,第二为smart,第三个是否是一个结婚的潜力股。之后正文部分分别对这三点进行了详细的展开。值得一提的是,作者谈到结婚对象的潜力股这方面的问题,迎合了当今社会的热点话题,让读者的兴趣骤然提升。
2. She will be able to tell many people what an important job her son has and it will make it easy for her to find a wife for me since many girls want to marry a rich man.这句话是个非常长的句子,这其中添加了从句,如宾语从句what an important job her son has and it will make it easy for her to find a wife for me,如状语从句 since many girls want to marry a rich man.但是这句话最大的亮点不在于从句,而是细节部分,主句的谓语部分be able to,一般情况可以用can来代替,但是这两种写法所表达的意思有细微的差别,can有主观的意识,夹杂着主观情感,但是be able to就非常客观,只是强调客观能力。
二、 逻辑结构
本文逻辑结构清晰明了,一共分为四个段落来陈述。逻辑结构为正正补的形式。首先第一段提出中心论点,即作者倾向于薪水多的工作,也就是说钱是最重要的。第二段作者正面论证了钱多的好处,即让别人觉得自己是个成功人士。第三段是向别人证明自己的聪明程度。最后一段作者进行了补充说明,即不论什么工作,只要薪酬多就好。
独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库,收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中,在托福考试改革之前,是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大,但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连,为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解,从考题精读,头脑风暴,范文展示,甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入,将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析,以思路指导清晰其面貌,以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性,提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径,准确击碎写作障碍。
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