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Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some people believe that computers provide easier and more convenient lives for them. In their opinion, computers help them surf Internet and share information. They may communicate directly by E-mail. But others hold that computers have made life more complex and stressful and they point out that computers bring many bad effects to human beings, such as information security problem because of hacking attack and environmental pollution because of irradiation. As far as I concerned, I prefer the first opinion rather than the second one.
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首段,先介绍了背景和问题争议,最后一句话提出自己的观点。 |
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首段为文章提供了背景,陈述了作者论点。 |
My opinion comes from following three aspects. First of all, computer made life more efficient than before. For example, people might access websites, gain a lot of valuable information and contact each other around the world. Secondly, computer made life more relax and easier. Computers provide various kinds of games and people could enjoy and relax from them every day.
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本段是一个总分的结构。开头承上启下,然后提出第一个分论点,即电脑提高了效率,通过给人们提供丰富的信息和让世界贯通一体。然后接着提出第二个分论点,电脑通过游戏给人们提供轻松娱乐的机会。 |
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本段是文章第二段,提出了正文的前两个支持论点。 |
Finally, compute help people solve many complicated problem by software, such as investment and finance. Therefore, people’s life becomes more simple and convenient.
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分总的结构,开头陈述电脑还能帮助人们解决复杂问题,最后一句话总结电脑让人们的生活简单又便利。 |
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本段是文章第三段,提出了正文的第三个支持论点。 |
However, just as what other people say that computers give us some negative effects in the meantime. For example, Irradiation does harm for our bodies and eyes, so we cannot make people seat too long in front of computers. Hacking is a real trouble, and we are supposed to enhance computer control and technology.
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总分的结构,开头提出论点,即电脑也给我们带来了负面影响。而后用一个生活中的例子,例如辐射和电脑黑客进行例证,支持了分论点。 |
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本段是文章第四段,提出了正文的第一个反方论点。 |
In general, computers give people an easier and convenient life. Although there are some bad effects of computers as mentioned above, we are supposed to do our best to solve the problems and pay more attention on their good effects. I believe that our society will benefit more from them in the future.
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本段第一句话进行了总结陈述,承认电脑的两面性。第二句话建议大家多利用好处而问题则积极去解决。最后一句呈现了美好的期待。 |
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本段是文章的尾段,承接了上文,总结了观点,并重新陈述了作者立场。 |
满分要素剖析:
一、 语言表达
本文的语言十分简单,在词汇方面没有什么可借鉴的表述,句子也都以简单句为主。但是文章读来流畅自然,思路清晰,意义明确,这要归功于连接词和一些固定搭配的准确使用。
However, just as what other people say that computers give us some negative effects in the meantime. 首先用however表示转折,句尾的in the meantime表示同时,提示在上文讨论积极方面的基础上,开始进入到消极作用的讨论。
As far as I concerned, I prefer the first opinion rather than the second view.表达自己的意见,作者用了as far as I concerned,就我而言/在我看来,接下来用了prefer表达个人偏好,rather than引出对比观点,句子简单,但是功能性强。
二、 逻辑结构
文章比较全面地对电脑的积极和消极作用进行了讨论,在偏重正面影响的基础上,也考虑到消极作用。正面影响从三个方面出发,一个是电脑提高效率,然后是电脑放松身心,最后是电脑给生活带来诸多便利。然后转折,进入到负面的讨论,说明黑客,病毒的确也造成很多问题。但是在文章末尾,作者也给出了自己的建议,即需要接受新生事物的不完整,不完美,而好好地利用那些对我们生活有帮助的部分,物尽其用,则无敌。
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