托福写作185题库独立范文及解析:第46题

2022-05-24 03:21:04

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  What are the important qualities of a good son or daughter? Have these qualities changed or remained the same over time in your culture? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

  Obedience, fidelity and respect, which are the qualities of a good son and daughter, have not changed over time. Any parents will tell you that, like their fathers and mothers and ancestors before them, they expect these qualities from their children. However, parents do not always get what they expect from their children.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分总的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,即古往今来, 父母都认为诚实和尊重都是孩子最重要的品质。之后进行了简单解释,然后转折引入到正文段落。

此段功能

本段是文章的第一段,提出了文章中心论点, 即诚实和尊重最重要。

  Many parents require that their sons and daughters, regardless of age, listen to them and take their advice. Even if a parent’s children are married and have their own children, they should still do whatever their parents tell them to do. Even though many children tend to obey their parents until the children become young adults, many children then begin to feel they are mature adults and can make their own decisions independently of parents, even if those decisions are against their parents’ wishes.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,也承接了上段,即很多家长不管孩子的年龄大小,总是让孩子听从他们的建议。之后对其进行了简单的展开。

此段功能

本段是文章的第二段,也就是正文第一段,写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。

  Parents expect loyalty from their children. If there were a dispute in the community or between families, parents would expect their children to be on the same side as their own family. This family cohesion is what makes a family a family. This quality has not changed over time.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分总的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,即家长非常看重孩子们的诚实,之后对其进行了简单解释,最后一句补充说明这样的观点很长时间以来一直都没有变。

此段功能

本段是文章的第三段,也就是正文第二段,写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。

  Parents in the past and present all demand respect. As people become more mobile, and introduced to different societies and non-traditional ways of doing things, this quality may not survive. The habits and lifestyles of parents are sometimes viewed as old-fashioned. Children often don’t think their parents can appreciate the way life really is. They believe their parents are too old to understand and consequently lose respect for their parents.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段是一个总分总的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨,即无论现在还是过去,父母总要求孩子必须要学会尊重,后面对其进行了简单解释,说明了当前社会的状态,很多孩子认为父母太古板,跟不上时代,从而失去了对父母的尊重。

此段功能

本段是文章的第四段,也就是正文第三段,写了支持作者立场的第三个分论点。

  These qualities of obedience, fidelity, and respect are virtues that are being challenged today. Many children may not obey their parents or give them the loyalty or respect they wish, but I hope my children obey me, are loyal and respect me.

 

内容

详细条目

段落

此段结构

本段第一句话给了个时代背景,即很多基本的优良品质越来越稀有了。最后一句话点明了主旨,即作者本人希望自己的孩子也能遵从和尊重自己。

此段功能

本段是文章的第五段,也就是结尾段,总结了上面正文的种种现象,种种品质都在逐步变得难能可贵。

  满分要素

  一、 语言表达

  本文的一大亮点就是插入语的使用。作者通过插入语,在句子中插入了很多补充信息,让句子更加饱满丰富,更体现出书面语言正式性的特点。

  1. Obedience, fidelity and respect, which are the qualities of a good son and daughter, have not changed over time. 这句话的主句是Obedience, fidelity and respect have not changed over time. 其中间插入了一个非限定性定语从句,是which are the qualities of a good son and daughter,这样一来,在加上主语的并列,句子就变长了。这句话不仅体现了语言上的功底,在逻辑上也是不相上下的,因为这句话是个全文总结的精华,后面所有段落都体现了其中的每一个关键词如fidelity and respect以及have not changed over time,全文都在论述这三个分论点。

  2. Even though many children tend to obey their parents until the children become young adults, many children then begin to feel they are mature adults and can make their own decisions independently of parents, even if those decisions are against their parents’ wishes. 这句话是个长难句,不过去掉状语从句even if和even though,其中的主句难度也不过如此。值得一提的是,even though和even if虽然都表示即便怎样,但是even if后面的事情更多是一种假设,而even though后面多数的事情是真实存在的。

  3. If there were a dispute in the community or between families, parents would expect their children to be on the same side as their own family. This family cohesion is what makes a family a family. 第一句话是个虚拟语气,在文章中适当的添加一两个虚拟语气能给文章增辉不少,而且,这句话在假设上也做的很好,不仅使用了there be倒装结构使得通俗的主体放到了后面,而且这种dispute in the community or between families的写法也是正式的书面用语。“与…保持统一战线”的表达是be on the same side as… 第二句话虽然是个较为短的句子,但是寓意深刻,这里谈到了凝聚力cohesion,如果家庭没有凝聚力,那么家也不能称之为家,所以凝聚力是家庭的核心,那么这句话当然有许多的表达,如This family cohesion is playing a pivotal role in every family.或者用更加简单通俗的表达This family cohesion is very important among each family.但似乎所有以上替换表达都没有原文来得地道,虽然没有提到important或core之类表示重要核心的词汇,但是能把意思在表达清楚之余还可使读者体会到其中的内涵,非常值得学习,这里是本文写作的又一大亮点。

  4. Parents in the past and present all demand respect. As people become more mobile, and introduced to different societies and non-traditional ways of doing things, this quality may not survive.第一句话主句为Parents demand respect. 而in the past and present是介词短语修饰parents,意为古今中外的。第二句话的主句是this quality may not survive.之前的都是状语从句,作者只是想表达一种当代化和多元化的社会现状,然而却使用了三种看似不同的单词或短语,如more mobile, and introduced to different societies and non-traditional ways of doing things,分别为流动的,多元化社会以及非传统的做事方式。

  5. These qualities of obedience, fidelity, and respect are virtues that are being challenged today. 定语从句that are being challenged today修饰virtues,直译为被挑战的,言外之意就是这样的品质越来越少了。

  二、 逻辑结构

  本文逻辑结构清晰,内容简单明了。一共分为五个段落,中间的正文均采用正正正的写法论述。首先第一段提出了三个值得论证的分论点,分别是品质fidelity和respect,这些要求一直都没有变(have not changed over time),以及父母的愿望总是事与愿违。之后的正文段落就按照第一段的逻辑来一一论证。正文第一段写了很多事情事与愿违。正文第二段描写了父母多么看重fidelity。正文第三段描写了父母很看重respect。而在这些核心的段落,作者一直在提醒读者,这些要求一直都没有变,以及最后一段作者竟然说明了自己的愿望,也是希望孩子要诚实尊重父母。

  独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库,收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中,在托福考试改革之前,是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大,但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连,为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解,从考题精读,头脑风暴,范文展示,甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入,将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析,以思路指导清晰其面貌,以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性,提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径,准确击碎写作障碍。

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