托福写作185题库独立范文及解析:第64题

2022-06-01 10:01:08

  为了提高

  Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? Use specific reasons to explain your choice.

  Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Personally, I prefer to work for myself. I choose to be self-employed because of the reasons as follows.

  I can decide what I do according my own willing and interest. This point is the most important because one person can find work motivity from his interest. I also can decide how to do the thing. I can choose my own directions and ways, whereas those who are employed by others must do work according to the directions of their employers.

  The other important point is that I have freedom to decide when I do the thing. The time I work is determined by myself I am not constricted by other people. Hence, if I am tired, I can rest in the daytime; if I have more energy, I can work late at night. I have more freedom on the choice of work time than those who work for an employer.

  I work for myself, so I only can depend on myself. This can train me to learn more knowledge and to work hard and teach me to face the success and the failure correctly. I can learn how to take advantage of different conditions and deal with different situations from the practice. I can learn to encourage myself when I succeed and not to be afraid of difficulties and failures.

  Based on the above statements, I think that self-employing has more advantages. So I prefer to be self-employed.

  满分要素剖析:

  一、 语言表达

  本文的语言比较工整,没有太多的亮点,用词也很平常,但是在表情达意上都很准确,属于在自己能力范围内发挥最大优势的好例子。

  1. I can choose my own directions and ways, whereas those who are employed by others must do work according to the directions of their employers. 本句在文中算是少有的长句,用whereas引导两种工作方式的对比,从句包含定语从句来指代受雇于他人这一类型的人,利落干净。

  2. I have more freedom on the choice of work time than those who work for an employer. 本句是more than句型的灵活运用,在表达雇员这一类型的人群时,也用了定语从句来修饰,相比于第一句来说,此句中用了另外一种表达,避免重复使用的情况。

  3. I can learn how to take advantage of different conditions and deal with different situations from the practice. 在这个句子中,take advantage of 和deal with都是比较好的动词词组,分别表达利用和对付的意义,十分准确。

  二、 逻辑结构

  本文采用的是对比论证的方式,在全文三个分论点中,作者都就自由职业或者自主创业的情况和作为普通雇员的情况进行对比式的讨论,最后总结自己比较偏好的类型,从而再次引导出选择的原因和理由。本文的这种对比式的论证在每个分论点下都进行了两面的比较,全面地支撑各个论点,达到统一。

  在结构方面,采用的是总分总的架构,开头结尾照应,中间摆论点并做进一步分析。

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