托福写作185题库独立范文及解析:第72题

2022-06-14 17:51:35

  为了提高

  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

  Almost in every modern society, grades play an import role in assessing students' academic ability. There are all kinds of tests to winnow out weak students. Knowledge itself is so complicate and vast, each one of the test usually can't cover every aspect of it. So I wonder whether grades can really encourage students to learn.

 

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首段,第一句话提出背景,第二句话继续对背景进行延伸,第三句话提出作者的理解和观点。

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首段为文章提供了背景,陈述了作者论点。

  The basic reason why I disapprove of the title statement lies in the belief that grades usually don't have positive impact on student who is strong or weak alike. Take the example of student who has high grades: If Tom got good grades in the class, normally he can't feel conceited. This situation certainly won't lead him into finding some blind spots or weak points in his study. And he won't realize that may be just his good memory helps him a lot or this kind of test suits him well.

 

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本段是一个总分的结构。开头提出论点,即分数对所有的学生们来说,都不会产生积极的影响。后面举例说明情况,即使是成绩好的学生,分数也不会帮助他们提高,反而会蒙蔽他们的眼睛。

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本段是文章第二段,提出了正文的第一个支持论点。

  Let us look at another example: Suppose Johnny isn't good at memorizing, but he is at home with analysis and deduction. Unfortunately, he got poor grades in tests facilitate memories. One can foresee what harm will bring to him due to the poor grades. In all these cases, the grades play a negative role in encouraging students to learn. Most important of all, the grade usually is a convenient way of assessing a student's academic ability. But it is by no means a scientific one. Teachers can't determine from the grades whether the student is hardworking (diligent) or out of cram. The tests given to all students regardless of their individual's character traits are just like force everyone to wear shoes of same size. Famous educator, Confucius, said two thousand years ago, "We should teach students in accordance of their aptitude". Our world is colorful, so should the educational world. Grades, especially poor grades will frustrate greatly potential successful students to learn. It will give them a false impression that their intelligence may be inferior to other students. The worst thing about poor grades is that it may have repercussions in an underachiever's heart when all his fellow students and teachers have long forgotten. In fact, the potential talent of a student will be strangled by those poor grades. A real pity to the student himself and the society.

 

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总分的结构,开头接上段继续举例,说明分数低的学生不意味没有能力,但是分数却会让他们陷入泥潭。接下来提出分论点,分数或许是最方便的检测方法,但绝不是最科学的。然后进行一系列的解释和展开。

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本段是文章第三段,提出了正文的第二个支持论点,也是第一个分论点的延伸。

  Last but not least, there are some advantages in taking grades as a tool to evaluate students' academic performance. As in my humble opinion, they should be combined with other scientific methods to encourage students to gain knowledge but not solely focus their energy on how to get high grades. After all, it is the knowledge that is power, not the grades.

 

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本段第一句话进行了让步,肯定用分数作为衡量标准的合理性,第二句话提出自己的建议,将分数与其它指标结合起来,而不是单一使用。第三句话进行了简单的陈述概括,能不能获取到知识才是最终目标,高分并不是。

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本段是文章的尾段,承接了上文,总结了观点,并重新陈述了作者立场。

  满分要素剖析:

  一、 语言表达

  本文的语言特点是丰富多变,并且生动形象。一方面是由于新鲜的,多变的词汇的使用,即使是最简单的一句话,里面也藏有值得学习的单词;另一方面是作者使用的比喻,引用,拟人等修辞手法,不仅恰当形象地解释了自己的观点,还拉进了和读者的关系,让他们不自觉地赞同。

  The basic reason why I disapprove of the title statement lies in the belief that grades usually don't have positive impact on student who is strong or weak alike. 表示不同意,除了disagree之外,还有剧中disapprove of的用法,以此类推,approve of有通过,也有同意的意思;lie in存在于,是一个很形象的表达,在想要表示问题存在于,原因存在于的时候都可以用它;alike用在句尾,接在两种学生之后,强调共同指代,翻译为同等的,同样的。

  Take the example of student who has high grades: If Tom got good grades in the class, normally he can't feel conceited. 举例时的说法,take the example of,或者是take…as an example; conceited表示骄傲自满的,自负的。

  But it is by no means a scientific one. 这个简单的句子里也隐藏了一个结构,by no means,表示绝不,可以放在句首,并且遵循否定前置,后面倒装的原则。

  The tests given to all students regardless of their individual's character traits are just like force everyone to wear shoes of same size. 这句话用了打比方的手法,将考试决定一切的方法比喻为让每个人穿同一个尺寸的鞋子,十分生动形象。句中regardless of表示不管,不顾,trait表示优点。

  In fact, the potential talent of a student will be strangled by those poor grades. 这里有一个词语可以收入囊中,strangle表示窒息,扼杀。

  二、 逻辑结构

  文章从两个角度出发,揭示了两个问题,一个是分数到底给谁带去了好处?一个是分数到底合理吗?作者建立了事例模型来,在事件上进行推理,说明即使是高分的学生,分数给他们带去的也是消极的不作为的影响,而分数不好的学生,有可能会被扼杀其它方面的天赋。证明了分数衡量一切的不合理性。结尾作者在讨论的基础上提出了建议,即将分数和其它指标相结合来衡量,考虑综合能力,而不仅是分数。

  这是典型的发现问题-提出问题-解决问题的逻辑架构,分区块布局文章,有条有理。

  独立写作185题库是ETS公布的托福考试经典官方作文题库,收录在托福考试官方指南(Official Guide)的附录中,在托福考试改革之前,是作文真题的主要来源。现在的托福考试对官方作文题目进行了扩大,但是185题库仍然和考试作文真题紧密相连,为考生提供最权威最真实的托福范文参考和写作练习。SmartStudy的教学专家对185题库的逐题讲解,从考题精读,头脑风暴,范文展示,甚至是同类题型的归纳等多个方面切入,将平面简短的文题毁灭性地分崩离析,以思路指导清晰其面貌,以生动的观点和事例丰满其个性,提供更完整更立体的试题透视途径,准确击碎写作障碍。

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