托福写作185题库独立范文及解析:第166题

2022-05-26 22:07:32

  为了提高

  People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

  People who are at different ages have different characteristics. Children are naive and full of imagination and adults are mature and realistic. People have recognized a main difference between the two generations: adults are more experienced than children. In my point of view, only after children have met and solved a lot of challenges/problems will they become real adults. Some failures and difficulties can help children grow up.

  Children can get courage from hardship. A child has always been carefully cared about ?by his parents and everything has been arranged well by his parents. He grows up smoothly. But it is not a good phenomenon. He will surely lack the ability of dealing with changes and difficulties. For example, a good student who had been considered for attending a famous university by his teachers and parents failed in the entrance examination unexpectedly. If he could not accept the disappointing result, he might fall and never rise again. On the other hand, if he can face his failure, he may become mature overnight. Then in the future, he will be able face any other trouble bravely.

  This is still the same topic]children can learn much experience and knowledge during the process of dealing with various kinds of problems. They get to know how to communicate with people and soon become familiar with social skills. For instance, a Chinese student who has gone abroad to further study, left his hometown and lived in a new place without his parents’ help. One day, his bag was stolen. His ID card, wallet and keys have gone. He has no relatives and friends there, so he has to face that situation by himself and try to manage those cards again ?. There is no doubt that after that accident, he will become more mature.

  When people grow older, they often think back to their youth. Those problems which used to trouble them are just pieces of cakes now. In a word, some unhappy experiences canmake a person an adult.

  满分要素剖析

  一、语言表达

  1、Those problems which used to trouble them are just pieces of cakes now.这一句话包含了一个今昔对比,即used to麻烦事儿,但是现在呢,只是a piece of cake小菜一地。这个句子虽然不长,但是结构和语言都指的借鉴。

  2、In my point of view, only after children have met and solved a lot of challenges/problems will they become real adults. Some failures and difficulties can help children grow up. 这两句话在第一段的末尾,in my point of view很好地引出了作者的观点。并且这里challenges/problems中的“/”代表了or,我们表示相近词的时候也可以这些,比如he/she等等。这两句话很好的引出了下文,做了铺垫。

  3、On the other hand, if he can face his failure, he may become mature overnight.句子中的on the other hand很好的承接了上文,引出了下文,mature overnight是一夜就成熟的意思。

  二、逻辑结构

  本文是正正正的大正型傻瓜逻辑结构,每一个正文段都是从一个不同的方面支持了作者的主论点。文章的每一单小结构非常清晰,都是总分的形式,这样的论证结构简单易懂,结构清晰,不失为一种简单的拿高分方式。

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