为了提高
What is a very important skill a person should learning in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.
The one skill I would choose for success is tolerance. I do not define success economically. I define success socially. To succeed in the future, we will need to be tolerant of one another’s backgrounds, opinions, and lifestyles. The world is becoming increasingly fluid and mobile. We no longer are able to live and work only with people who went to the same schools and went to the same parties as our parents and we did. Now, we will work directly with people whose backgrounds are completely different from ours. We must be tolerant of these differences as they must be tolerant of us if we are to live and work together amiably.
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此段结构 |
本段是一个总分总的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，人们要成功就需要学会忍耐。后面可以分成两个部分，第一个部分对忍耐这个特性进行了分析，第二个部分对目前的环境进行了分析。两个部分都说明了忍耐的重要性，引出了下文。最后再重申本主观点。 |
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本段是文章首段，引出要讨论内容，帮助作者陈述观点，摆明立场。 |
We cannot stop speaking to people or start a war just because there is a difference in opinion. We must learn to be tolerant of one another and respect these differences in opinion. We have to find a common ground, an idea we can both agree on. Once we have agreement on one idea, it will be easier to settle differences in other areas.
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本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，我们无法停止战争就是因为我们不能容忍不同的观点。后面对本分论点进行了简要分析。 |
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本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。 |
Different people have different lifestyles. We must accept these differences even though they may be different than what we are used to. Woman can live on their own, hold important jobs, and raise children on their own. Men can stay home and take care of children. Social roles can change and we must be tolerant of these changes. To succeed socially, you must be adapted to differences. You must be tolerant of all peoples regardless of their background, their opinions, or their lifestyles.
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本段是一个分总的结构。首先第一句话引入了要讨论的内容，因为我们有不同的生活方式（所以才需要容忍）。后面都是对此进行的讨论最后一句话重申论点，告诉我们要be tolerant of all peoples regardless of their background, their opinions, or their lifestyles.也算是对全文的收束总结。 |
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此段功能 |
本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。并帮助收束总结全文。 |
满分要素剖析
一、语言表达
文章给人的第一印象就是长难句比较多，用词比较优美，使得整体行文流畅，凸显了作者强大的语言功底。这样给作者的文章极大程度上的增光添彩了。虽然长难句不是万能的，但是没有长难句是万万不能的。
1. The world is becoming increasingly fluid and mobile. 这句话的表达方式很值得写作手法单一的学生借鉴，其中increasingly就是亮点，换一种通俗的表达法就是more and more. 本文是巧妙地运用了副词。
2. We no longer are able to live and work only with people who went to the same schools and went to the same parties as our parents and we did. Now, we will work directly with people whose backgrounds are completely different from ours. 第一句话是个长难句，之所以长，是因为定语从句的出现，who went to the same schools and went to the same parties as our parents .修饰people，引导词who作从句的主语，另外，这里的并列谓语的使用也使得句子变长了，比如live and work，再如went to the same schools and went to the same parties，其实这些并列的出现不仅能增加句子长度，也可以增添细节的描写。最后，be able to的用法也是个亮点，之所以作者没有用can或could，原因是be able to是指客观上能否做成，而can是主观心理上，这里笔者主要想强调，现在周围的环境导致人们无法与相同的人和群体打交道了。下面一句也是定语从句的使用，whose backgrounds are completely different from ours修饰people，whose在定语从句中作定语修饰从句中的backgrounds。这两句话前后是个时间对比的关系。
3. We must be tolerant of these differences as they must be tolerant of us if we are to live and work together amiably. 这句为长难句，出现了多处的从句，比如方式状语从句as they must be tolerant of us，条件状语从句if we are to live and work together amiably. 这里的are to live是个表将来的动作。
4. We cannot stop speaking to people or start a war just because there is a difference in opinion. 这里有个生动的小结构start a war，作者把人与人之间的争执与争吵比作是war，而没有用fight或是quarrel这种通俗的表达。
5. We have to find a common ground, an idea we can both agree on. Once we have agreement on one idea, it will be easier to settle differences in other areas.第一句的common ground与之后的an idea是同位语，we can both agree on是省略了that的定语从句修饰idea。之后的settle differences也是不错的表达，可以换为solve differences。
二、逻辑结构
文章采用正正的形式，两个正面支持的段落支持了本文主要观点，即我们要学会容忍，结构比较简单。本文段内结构复杂，都是讨论的十分充分，而且都辅有生活中普适的例子帮助证明观点，论证充分。
本文的逻辑非常简单，只提出了一个论点，也就是中心论点，即成功的必备要素是忍让宽容，第一段提出这个论点后就进行了简单的解释和论证，说明了在这么大的世界里不同的人与人之间接触是很频繁的，所以要多多包容他人才能有和谐的工作和生活环境，第一段主要是背景上的宽容。第二段作者还是对其观点进行进一步解释，讲得是人与人之间观点的不同要宽容，这就间接地促进了成功，因为Once we have agreement on one idea, it will be easier to settle differences in other areas. 第三段再次进一步解释宽容如何促进成功，主要是lifestyle生活方式上的，To succeed socially, you must be adapted to differences. 这样的写作方式只有一个最主要的论点，但是在解释过程中，作者的侧重点不同，也是很好的论述方式。
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