为了提高
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Teachers should in part be responsible for students’ school performance, yet I disagree with the statement that teachers should be paid according to students’ performance.
The very purpose of teaching and schooling, and education on a bigger scale, is the better performance of all students. Common sense says that education, and teachers in particular, should build up students’ confidence in exploring and discovering the unknown as well as specific skills required in work and life. Such a standard is broad and abstract in contrast to the narrowness and rigidity of criterion related to students’ performance. If teachers’ salaries are determined by the students’ performance, the true goal of schooling and education is lost and replaced by the short-sighted target of improving students’ performance at the expense of all other factors.
Another thing to be worried about is that, if actually carried out, both teachers and students would be cast into the irrational pursuit for performance and not necessarily education. For example, a teacher evaluated in this way is immediately forced to make the decision either to push her class toward the best performance or at least better than the worst-performing class, and show preference to students who perform well. Such measures might be incentives for a better grade, but the teacher and the students would lose their original motivation for education if performance becomes the one and only purpose. Also, consequent competition among students would place heavy pressure on every student, and those who do not perform well might be neglected by the teacher and fall behind. Considering all the disastrous effects such a measure may incur, it is obvious that teachers should not be paid on the basis of students’ performance.
A more realistic and rational criterion to evaluate teachers’ work (and therefore decide their salary) should include factors such as comprehensive development of students, a teacher’s own capacity to cultivate and educate, and parents’ feedback. Yet my disagreement does not suggest that students’ performance should be abandoned, but rather included along with other indispensable factors in evaluating teachers’ work. If done with moderation and consideration of holistic development, it is reasonable that teachers who can enhance students’ performance should be paid better, as the measure would moderately motivate teachers to work hard.
In a nutshell, I object to the idea that teachers should be paid on the basis of the students’ performance, but should instead be evaluated on a medley of comprehensive qualities which agrees with the purpose of education and schooling as well as encourages their effort toward a more satisfying learning experience.
满分要素剖析：
一、 语言表达
本文的语言使用非常优美，长难句比较多，而且词汇也用的地道而高深。这里不是要求大家都通篇使用长难句，而是说我们遣词造句的功底可以通过适当的长句子，和夹杂的比较高深的词汇显示出来，并用多变的句式让考官读的津津有味
1. Teachers should in part be responsible for students’ school performance, yet I disagree with the statement that teachers should be paid according to students’ performance. 此句是文章的第一句，开门见山的阐明了作者的观点。Yet和in part相互呼应，这样的让步既使作者论点清晰，又富有逻辑与层次。
2. Such a standard is broad and abstract in contrast to the narrowness and rigidity of criterion related to students’ performance. 本句在凝练中见真知，作者承上启下的将教育的标准(such a standard)与题目中衡量老师工作的标准(students’ performance)进行对比， 将两组意义相对的词(broad-narrowness, abstract-rigidity)罗列出来分别作为特点，夸大两个标准的天差地别，从而强调了现行标准与教育本质的背道而驰。
3. If done with moderation and consideration of holistic development, it is reasonable that teachers who can enhance students’ performance should be paid better, as the measure would moderately motivate teachers to work hard. 此句很长，连续运用从句，if引导的条件状语从句补充说明了主句，防止主句语气的绝对化，显示作者思维的缜密。as引导的原因状语从句有效的解释了主句。同时，该句中长单词频出，显示了作者深厚的单词积累。最值得钦佩的是该句中m字头单词的频繁出现，尤其注意moderately motivate短语，这在英文写作中是alliteration押头韵的修辞手法，这样使整句话读起来具有韵律美。
4. In a nutshell, I object to the idea that teachers should be paid on the basis of the students’ performance, but should instead be evaluated on a medley of comprehensive qualities which agrees with the purpose of education and schooling as well as encourages their effort toward a more satisfying learning experience. 一句话总结全文，却能将前面所有论点全部串起，在逻辑得到有效体现的同时更加升华观点，将前文的缺陷反说成为支持作者观点的优势，可见作者思路之清晰。
二、 逻辑结构
本文是一个反反半反的论证方式，前面两个主体段，作者分别提出了两个原因驳斥了原题观点。这两段论述的非常饱满、清晰，富有层次感。文章主体段第三段进行了让步，体现了作者论证逻辑的完整性。这点给了我们很大启示，事物都有两面性，适当的让步是补全逻辑的不二法门，但是不要无病呻吟，使得让步惨白累赘。在结构方面，文章整体是总分总的结构，并且段中的思路也非常清晰，结构之严整非常值得我们学习。
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