语言的疏漏是让你的
1. 用词不当
原：The absence ofgroupwork is a disaster for teenagers in modern society.
改：The absence ofteamwork is a disaster for teenagers in modern society.
评：groupwork是“分组”或者“小组集体任务”的意思。这位同学原本想说teamwork“团队合作”，却用了一个看起来很像，但实际完全不同的词，表达出来的意思就风马牛不相及了。
原：You will be dangerousif you keep moving without a clear view of the whole picture.
改：You will be in dangerif you keep moving without a clear view of the whole picture.
评：dangerous表示所修饰的对象是“带来危险的，有危险性的”，而be indanger才是“身处险境”的意思。到底谁才是威胁呢?
原：Firstly, the job, providingthe opportunity for students to utilize what they learned in class, mighteffect their further development.
改：Firstly, the job,providing the opportunity for students to utilize what they learned in class,might affect their further development.
评：模样长得像，意思可不同了。这里想用动词affect表示“影响”，却误写为名词effect“效果”，一字千里啊!
2. 搭配错误
原：Nowadays, people arecrazy pursuing to be excellent.
改：Nowadays, people arecrazy about excellence.
评：这位同学显然记错了be crazyabout sth. 这个用法，写出来的句子自然会出问题啦。
原：Besides, public speechcan effectively increase your communication skills, which facilitate yoursalesman career.
改：Besides, public speechcan effectively improve your communication skills, which facilitate yoursalesman career.
评：此处是一个明显的动宾搭配错误。“提高……技巧”应该是improve theskills，而不是increase the skills。
3.词性错位
原：I will forget my sadand pressure from the work and the study.
改：I will forget mysadness and pressure from work and study.
评：sad是形容词，而这里明显需要一个名词，应该是sadness。
原：Although making moneyis a priority for most people, spending time with the family is equalsignificant.
改： …, spending time withthe family is equally significant.
评：形容词significant前需要用副词来修饰，所以equal应该改成equally。
4. 时态混乱
原：Although I have nowork experience when I was a teenager, I always dreamed about having a job.
改：Although I had no workexperience when I was a teenager, I always dreamed about having a job.
评：过去时的句子中冒出了现在时，同学你太粗心了，要仔细检查哦~
原：I would explain myview in the following paragraphs.
改：I’d like to explain… /I will explain…
评：可能是两种说法记混了吧，结果把时态搞错了……
5. 主谓不一致
原：The way we deal withthe environmental problems are crucial to the prosperity of human-being.
改：The way we deal withthe environmental problems is crucial to the prosperity of human-being.
评：谓语之前有两个名词时，主谓搭配的问题就常常出现了。这里真正的主语应该是单数名词the way，所以与之搭配的谓语也应该是单数的is。
6. 重复累赘
原：From my point of view,I think this argument is quite limited since many other ways can also helplearning a foreign country.
改：From my point of view,this argument is quite limited since many other ways can also help us learn aforeign country.
评：from my point of view和I think重复啦，保留一个就好。当然这里建议留下更“高级”的from my point of view.
原：There are the majorityof people who deem that they like to spend money on things which can bring themlong memory.
改：Majority of the peoplelike to spend money on things that can be memorized for long.
评：中文句式说的“有很多人……”，但别一看到“有”就非要用there be句型不可哦，直接摆出主谓宾就行了。
“things that can bememorized for long”，被动语态明显更地道~
7. 中式英语
原：Thus, one is easier todraw bosses’ attention and gain appreciation.
改：Thus, it’s easier foryou to draw bosses’ attention and gain appreciation.
评：中文习惯说“人们可以更容易地吸引老板的注意力”，而英语则习惯说“It’s easier for sb. to…”同学们要注意中英表述习惯的区别哦!
网小编提醒：托福写作是考察学生综合英语素质的考题，因此短时间内提高托福写作，实现高分突破很难，但是掌握一定的技巧，从根本上踢出一些常见的低级错误，相信最终你可以战胜自己，并且取得理想的托福写作高分突破。
(编辑：Kitty)