这篇
满分作文开篇是这样的：
If given the chance to meet a famous entertainer or athlete, I would definitely choose Norah Jones, winner of 8 Grammy Awards in 2003. 开头简洁，标新立异。首先在选材上，作者没有选用比如迈克杰克逊，乔丹，刘翔这些大家耳熟能详但不够心想的明星，而是举了一个新颖但是同样著名的，曾获8项格莱美大奖的美国爵士歌手，诺拉琼斯，能够吸引考官的眼球，让人眼前一亮，并有兴趣去品读考生自己的理由。在语言组织上，if given the chance to do…I would do 考生一上来就用了一个较有难度的语法点，过去分词做状语。这样的结构比简单的if引导的状语从句更为新颖华丽。考生自己可以利用这样的句型来练习，比如If give the chance to go back to campus, I would put time in its utmost value. 如果给我一个机会回到校园，我会最大限度的利用时间。另外在用词上，definitely这一副词的使用，表明了考生内心的对此题目的自信。这样的开篇清爽自然，毫无赘述，一目了然。
第二段如下：
In the first place, as an amateur in jazz music, I would like to ask her for some tips in jazz performance. Since I first heard her voice over the radio, I have been deeply attracted by her unique voice, a wonderful mixture of ease, leisure, laziness, a bit of everything together. I’ve always been wondering how to effectively convey my feelings through my voice. A talk with Norah Jones might hopefully give me some inkling and teach me how to make my songs sing for my soul. 正文第一句话直接阐述考生的个人理由，as an amateur in jazz music, I would like to ask her for some tips in jazz performance. 也就是想要与诺拉琼斯请教爵士音乐的知识。第一句见主题的方式，让考官能够迅速捕捉考生的思路。接下来娓娓道来为什么希望向诺拉琼斯来请教，因为考生自从从收音机中听到诺拉琼斯的声音，就被她独特的嗓音深深吸引。在这一段中，考生细致的描述充分展现了考生的词汇量。看考生是如何用一系列的排比，一连串的同位语来描述诺拉琼斯独特的嗓音的：a wonderful mixture of ease, leisure, laziness, a bit of everything together.一种混合着放松，闲适，慵懒，没点感觉都有一点点的美妙的结合。这一系列描述真实细腻，仿佛考官也能听到这样的声音。