新GMAT写作黄金范文第二十六部分

2022-05-21 03:48:06

  考生在备考

  The following appeared as part of a newspaper editorial.

  “Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year’s graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum.”

  两年前Nova高中开始在3个科学科目中使用互动计算机指导。学校的退学率立刻下降,而且去年的毕业生在大学取得了一些很不错的成绩。在未来的预算中,校董事会应该在能得到的资金中拨出更大的一块用来购买更多的计算机。而且这一区的所有学校都应该在课程中采用互动计算机指导。

  interactive interact instruction logical logically covincing ignore decline atttibute

  dropout中途退学(学生)usage sufficient fund budget compromise comprise impressive portion proportional ultimately ultimate strengthen graduate graduation applicable apply applicant application affordable afford district

  1, 没有排除他因。很可能是学校出台的policy要求老师上课认真,学生更加勤奋导致的。同时发生不能说明因果。stricter discipline applied last year.

  还有其他的比如加入新课引起学生的兴趣等等。counseling and training programs

  2, 错误类比,其他的学校情况跟这个不一定相同。比如很可能是艺术类等文科院校,而这个是科学类的,所以不同。

  3, 过去推将来,不对。很可能短暂的interest之后学生会失去兴趣。或者别的什么情况发生了变化。

  Sample essay 1:

  The argument that the school board should buy more computers and adopt interactive computer instruction is not entirely logically convincing, since it ignores certain crucial assumptions.

  First, the argument assumes that the decline of school dropout and the achievements of last year’s graduates’ results from the adoption of interactive computer instruction. However, there are several reasons why this might not be true. For example, achievements could have been made in other subjects than the ones with interactive computer instruction. Or last years’ graduates might not have been given the interactive computer instruction. Or the decline of the rate of dropout could be attributed to stricter discipline applied last year.

  Second, even supposing the Nova High School’s decline of the dropout and last year’s graduates’ achievements benefit directly from the usage of interactive computer instruction, the success of the instruction in one school may not ensure the success in other schools. If it does not suit other schools, the instruction will not work.

  Finally, even if the decline of the rate of dropout and the achievements of the last year’s graduates’ are the direct results of the interactive computer instruction, we still do not know whether the school can afford to apply the instruction on all the subjects or to all the students. If the school does not have sufficient fund and has to cut budgets on other projects such as the library, the quality of the school’s education will also compromise.

  Thus, the argument is not completely sound. The evidence in support of the conclusion that the dropout rate declined and last year’s graduates made impressive achievements does little to prove the conclusion that other schools should use a greater portion of their funds to apply the instruction since it does not address the assumptions I have already raised. Ultimately, the argument might have been strengthened by making it clear that the decline of the dropout rate and the achievements of the graduates are the direct results of interactive computer instruction, that the instruction is also applicable to other schools in the district, and that the instruction is affordable to all the schools in the district.

  Sample essay 2:

  The editorial recommends that the school board of Nova High spend a greater portion of available funds on the purchase of additional computers and adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum. Two reasons are offered in support of this recommendation. First, the introduction of interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects was immediately followed by a decline in the school dropout rate. Second, last year’s graduates experienced impressive achievements in college. This argument is unconvincing for two reasons.

  To begin with, this argument is a classic instance of “after this, therefore because of this” reasoning. The mere fact that the introduction of interactive computer instruction preceded the impressive performance of recent graduates and the decline in the dropout rate is insufficient to conclude that it was the cause of these events. Many other factors could bring about these same results. For example, the school may have implemented counseling and training programs that better meet the needs of students who might otherwise leave school to take jobs. In addition, the school may have introduced programs to better prepare students for college.

  Secondly, the author assumes that the impressive achievements of last year’s graduates bear some relation to the introduction of interactive computer instruction at Nova High. However, no evidence is offered to support this assumption. Lacking evidence that links the achievements of the recent graduates to the interactive instruction, it is presumptuous to suggest that the computer instruction was in some way responsible for the students’ impressive performance.

  In conclusion, the recommendation that Nova High spend a greater portion of available funds on the purchase of additional computers and adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum is ill-founded. To strengthen this recommendation the author would have to demonstrate that the decline in the dropout rate and the impressive performance of recent graduates came about as a result of the use of computer-interactive instruction. All that has been shown so far is a correlation between these events.

  15. The following appeared as a part of an advertisement for Adams, who is seeking reelection as governor.

  “Re-elect Adams, and you will be voting for proven leadership in improving the state’s economy. Over the past year alone, seventy percent of the state’s workers have had increases in their wages, five thousand new jobs have been created, and six corporations have located their headquarters here. Most of the respondents in a recent poll said they believed that the economy is likely to continue to improve if Adams is reelected. Adams’s opponent, Zebulon, would lead our state in the wrong direction, because Zebulon disagrees with many of Adams’s economic policies.”

  Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

  正在寻求重新选举为地方长官的Adams的广告宣传:

  再次选举Adams,你将为在提升本州经济的过程中已被证实了的领导能力投票。仅在过去的一年中,全州有70%的工人的工资增加了,5000个新就业机会被创造,6个公司将他们的总部设在这里。最近的调查中多数回答者说他们相信如果Adams当选经济将会继续增长。Adams的竞争者Zebulon将把我们州引向错误的方向,因为Zebulon不同意Adams的多数经济政策。

  1. 数据vague,物价水平和工资哪个长的更快?5000个就业机会和总体失业水平相比是不是微不足道?六个公司总部设在这里,有没有离开的?调查是由谁进行的,接受调查的又是谁,可信度怎么样?

  2. 就算经济确实增长了也不一定是ADAMS的功劳

  3. 以上两点没有说明,也就无法因为ZEBULON的经济观点与之相左而判定他上任就会使经济下滑。

  This political advertisement recommends re-electing Governor Adams because he has a proven leadership role in improving the state’s economy. In support of this reason the author cites these statistics: in the past year, most state workers’ wages have gone up; 5,000 new jobs have been created; and six corporations have located in the state. Another reason offered for re-electing Adams is a recent poll, which indicates that most respondents believe the state economy would continue to improve if he were re-elected. Finally, the author claims that rival Zebulon would harm the state’s economy because he disagrees with Adams’ fiscal policies. This argument is fraught with vague, oversimplified and unwarranted claims.

  To begin with, the statistics are intended to support the main claim that the state is economically better off with Adams as governor. But these statistics are vague and oversimplified, and thus may distort the state’s overall economic picture. For example, state workers’ pay raises may have been minuscule and may not have kept up with cost of living or with pay for state workers in other states. Moreover, the 5,000 new jobs may have been too few to bring state unemployment rates down significantly; at the same time, many jobs may have been lost. Finally, the poll indicates that six new corporations located in the state, but fails to indicate if any left.

  Next, the poll cited by the author is described in the vaguest possible terms. The ad does not indicate who conducted the poll, who responded, or how the poll was conducted. Until these questions are answered, the survey results are worthless as evidence for public opinion about Adams or his economic policies.

  Finally, while we have only vague and possibly distorted evidence that the state is better off with Adams, we have absolutely no evidence that it would be worse off with Zebulon. Given that the state economy is good at the moment, none of the author’s reasons establishes that Adams is the cause of this. And neither do they establish that the state wouldn’t be even better off with someone else in office.

  In conclusion, this argument is weak. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide additional information about the adequacy of state workers’ pay raises, the effect of the 5,000 jobs on the state’s employment picture, the overall growth of corporations in the state, and other features of the state economy. Also, the author must support the claims that Adams’ actions have caused any economic improvement and that in the future Adams will impart more economic benefit than would Zebulon.

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