GMAT作文范文及解析：财政计划办公室
35. The following appeared as part of a recommendation from the financial planning office to the administration of Fern Valley University.
“In the past few years, Fern Valley University has suffered from a decline in both enrollments and admissions applications. The reason can be discovered from our students, who most often cite poor teaching and inadequate library resources as their chief sources of dissatisfaction with Fern Valley. Therefore, in order to increase the number of students attending our university, and hence to regain our position as the most prestigious university in the greater Fern Valley metropolitan area, it is necessary to initiate a fund-raising campaign among the alumni that will enable us to expand the range of subjects we teach and to increase the size of our library facilities.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
财政计划办公室给Fem Valley大学的建议书：
在过去的几年里，Fem Valley大学经受了入学人数和入学申请的双重下降。原因可以从我们的学生那里找到，他们经常将低劣的教学和不适当的图书馆资源作为他们对学校的主要不满之处。因此，为了提高想加入我们学校的学生数，从而重新获得我们在大Fem Valley地区的最有声望的大学的地位，在校友中发动一个基金募集计划使我们能扩展教学科目改善图书馆的设备是十分必要的。
1， 增加教学科目和图书馆的型号并不一定就能使学生变得满意因为他们可能并不是对教学和图书馆的这两个方面感到不满
2， 入学人数和入学申请的下降可能是因为整个外部环境导致的而不是学校自己的问题
3， 没有提供学生对教学质量和图书馆不满意的具体证据.
4， 调查的本身就值得怀疑.
ability attract customer merit alleviate inadequate unfavorable economical conditions hearsay rumour scant anecdotal evidence
The financial-planning office at Fern Valley University concludes that it is necessary to initiate a fund-raising campaign among alumni that will enable the university to expand the range of subjects it offers and increase the size of its library facilities. Its argument is based on a five-year decline in enrollments and admission applications together with the claim that students cite poor teaching and inadequate library resources as their chief sources of dissatisfaction with Fern Valley. The conclusion of the financial-planning office is not strongly supported by the reasons given.
To begin with, this argument depends on the assumption that providing a greater range of subjects and a larger library will alleviate the students’ chief sources of dissatisfaction. However, the students have not complained about inadequate course offerings or about the size of the library; their complaint is that the existing courses are poorly taught and that library resources are inadequate. Offering more kinds of classes does not improve teaching quality, and increasing a library’s size does nothing to enhance its holdings, or resources. Accordingly, the recommendation does not bear directly on the problem as stated.
Secondly, the proposal unfairly assumes that the recent enrollment and application decline was caused by poor teaching and inadequate library resources. It is equally possible that all colleges, regardless of teaching quality and library resources, have experienced similar declines. These declines may have been due to unrelated factors, such as unfavorable economic conditions, or an increase in high-paying computer jobs not requiring a college education.
Thirdly, the author provides no support for the claim that students are dissatisfied with the teaching and library resources at Fern Valley. It is possible that the claim is based on hearsay or on scant anecdotal evidence. Without more information about the basis of the claim, we cannot be sure that the financial-planning office is addressing the real problems.
In conclusion, the advice of the financial planning office is not well supported. To strengthen the argument, the planning office must provide evidence that students are dissatisfied with the range of subjects and with the library’s size, and that this dissatisfaction is the cause of the recent decline in enrollment and the number of admission applications. To better assess the argument as it stands, we would need to know whether the students’ attitudes were measured in a reliable, scientific manner.