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10 Heathcliff visitsCatherine for the last time(希斯克利夫最后一次看望凯瑟琳 1784 年)
1784 Heathcliff had given me a letter for Catherine,but I decided not to show it to her until Mr Edgar was out of the house.My chance came four days after my visit to Wuthering Heights.As it was a Sunday,Mr Edgar and all the servants went to church,leaving me alone to look after Catherine.
She was sitting downstairs,by an open window,enjoying the spring sunshine.Her appearance had changed since her illness,but there was a strange beauty in her pale face.She did not read or sew any more,but used to sit there silently, staring into the distance.Her eyes seemed fixed on something far away,something beyond normal sight.
I showed her the letter,but she looked confused and could not seem to understand it,so I had to explain ‘It's from Mr Heathcliff,’I said gently.‘He's in the garden,and wants to see you.What shall I tell him?’
She said nothing,but bent forward in her chair to listen. We both heard someone coming through the hall.Heathcliff had realized the house was almost empty,and had found an open door Catherine looked eagerly towards the entrance to the room. He appeared,and in two steps was by her side.For five whole minutes he held her in his arms and kissed her again and again it gave him great pain to look at her face.He could see,as I could,that she would never recover,that she was certain to die.
‘Oh,Catherine!Oh,my life!How can I bear It!’he cried.‘You and Edgar have broken my heart,'said Catherine, ‘And you both want me to pity yoy!How strong you are, Heathcliff!You'll live for years after my death!Will you forget me,and be happy with others,when I'm in my grave?’‘It's wicked of you to say that,Catherine.You know your words will burn for ever in my memory after you've left me. You know I could never forget you!’
‘I don't want you to suffer more than I do,Heathcliff.I only want us to be together,always .’
Heathcliff turned away,his shoulders shaking. ‘That isn't my Heathcliff,’Catherine said to me.‘I'll always love my Heathcliff,and take him with me.He's in my soul,you see.Oh,Ellen,I do want to escape from this prison.There's a beautiful world waiting for me out there.You feel sorry for me now because I'm ill.Well,very soon I'll feel sorry for you,because I'll be beyond you all!’
Heathcliff turned towards her,his fierce eyes wet.For a moment they looked at each other,and then they were in each other's arms again. No one could have separated them.
‘How cruel you've been to me,Catherine!’he cried wildly. ‘You loved me,so why did you marry Edgar Linton?It's all your fault!I haven't broken your heart,you've broken it! 108 And you've broken mine too!Do you think I want to live after you are dead?’ ‘If I've done wrong,I'm dying for it!'sobbed Catherine. ‘It's your fault too,Heathcliff!You left me,remember?But I forgive you.Now forgive me!’
It's hard to forgive,when I look at your sad eyes,and feel your thin hands.Kiss me again,Catherine!I forgive you for making me suffer,but how can I forgive you for dying?’
Catherine sobbed quietly,hiding her face in his shoulder, and tears rolled down Heathcliff's dark face.
Suddenly I noticed,through the window,the servants coming back from church.I was afraid Mr Edgar would find Heathcliff with Catherine.
‘My master will be here in a moment,’I warned them. ‘I must go,Catherine,'said Heathcliff. ‘No,no!'she screamed.Den't go!It's the last time! Edgar won't hurt us!Heathcliff,I'll die if you go!’‘All right,my darling,I'll stay.If he shot me in your arms,I’d die happy.’
At that moment my master appeared at the door.When he saw Heathcliff holding his wife,he went pale with anger.
‘Here,take care of her first,'said Heathcliff,putting Catherine in her husband's arms,‘then speak to me later if you wish.’ He walked out of the house.
Catherine seemed to be unconscious,and Mr Edgar was so worried about her that he forgot about Heathcliff for the moment.She recovered a little,but did not recognize any of us,and was clearly very ill.We put her to bed immediately, and at twelve o’clock that night her daughter,Cathy,was born,two months early.That's the young lady you saw at Wuthering Heights,Mr Lockwood.Two hours later, Catherine died,without calling for Heathcliff,or recognizing Edgar.My poor master was in the depths of despair.I thought it was very unfortunate that Catherine had only given him a daughter,not a son.Now the Linton fortune would pass to Isabella and her husband after Mr Edgar's death.#p#分页标题#e#
Catherine's dead body lay peacefully on her bed.In death she looked more beautiful that in life.I wondered if she was now beyond us all,’as she had said,and hoped that her soul had found a home with God.
In the morning I went to look for Heathcliff.I found him in the Grange garden,where he had been waiting for news all night. ‘She's dead,I know!’he caned to me as I came closer.
‘Don't cry,she doesn't need your tears!Tell me-tell me, how did-?’He tried to say her name,but could not manage it.‘How did she die?’he said at last,staring fiercely at me. ‘Don't be sorry for me,I don't want your pity!’ ‘Poor creature!’I thought.‘You have a heart just like other men,but you are too proud to show it!’
Aloud I said,‘She died quietly,in her sleep.Her life finished in a gentle dream.I hope she wakes as calmly in the other world!’ ‘Where are you,Catherine?’he cried in despair.‘Don't leave me here,where I can't find you!I pray that you will never rest while I'm alive.You said I killed you-haunt me then!Murdered people do haunt their murderers,I believe. Come back as a ghost-drive me mad-I don't care!Oh, God!I can't bear it!I cannot live without you,my soul!’
He howled like a wild animal,and hit his forehead several times against a tree,until the wood.was covered in blood.I knew I could no longer help him,so I left him.
Catherine was buried the following Friday.Her brother Hindley,although invited,did not come,and Isabella was not invited,so it was only Mr Edgar and the servants who attended the ceremony. To our surprise,she was not buried in the church with the Lintons,nor with the Earnshaws.She lies in an open corner of the churchyard,where she can breather the air from the moors.Her husband's grave is next to hers.
1784年
希斯克利夫给了我一封致凯瑟琳的信,但我决定在艾加先生不在家时再给她看。我从呼啸山庄回来后过了四天时找到了一个机会。那是个礼拜天,艾加先生和所有家仆都到教堂去了,留我一个人照看凯瑟琳。
她在楼下一个开着的窗户旁坐着,享受着春天的阳光。她得病之后容貌变了,但她惨白的面庞有一种莫名的美。她不再读书,也不再做针线活儿,但常静静地坐在那儿,呆呆地望着远方。她的目光好像盯着远处的什么东西,正常视线以外的东西。
我把信给她看,可她显得有些茫然,似乎无法理解,所以我不得不解释一下。
“是希斯克利夫来的,”我轻声说。“他在花园里,想见你。我该怎么跟他说?”
她什么也没说,但从椅子里欠起身在听着。我们俩都听到有人从厅里走过来。希斯克利夫意识到房子里没有什么人了,就找了扇敞开的门。凯瑟琳急切地望着房门。他出现了,两步就走到她的身边。他把她抱在怀里,一遍遍地吻她,足足有五分钟。他看着她的脸,十分痛苦。他和我都能看出来,凯瑟琳永远不会复原了,她肯定是要死了。
“噢,凯瑟琳!噢,我的命根子!我如何能忍受得了!”他痛苦地叫道。
“你和艾加伤透了我的心,”凯瑟琳说。“你们都想让我怜悯你们!你多健壮啊,希斯克利夫!我死后你还能活好多年!等我入土之后,你会忘了我,和别的人幸福地生活吗?”
“你这么说一定是中了邪,凯瑟琳。你明白在你离开我之后,你的话仍将会烙印在我记忆中。你知道我永远都不会忘记你的!”
“我不想你比我多受罪,希斯克利夫。我只想我们俩在一起,永远。”
希斯克利夫转开身,他的双肩在颤抖。
“这不是我的希斯克利夫,”凯瑟琳对我说道。“我将永远爱我的希斯克利夫,把他带在身边。他在我的灵魂里,你知道。哦,艾伦,我真想逃离这牢狱。那儿有一个美丽的世界在等着我。你为我难过是因为我病了。可很快我就会为你们感到难过,因为我将会在你们所有人之上!”
希斯克利夫转过来面对着她,炽烈的双眼里含着泪。他们先是相对而视,然后又拥抱在一起。没人能把他们分开。
“你对我多无情啊,凯瑟琳!”他发疯似地说道。“你爱我,那为什么却嫁给了艾加.林顿?都是你的错!我没有伤你的心,是你自己伤了自己的心!而且你还伤了我的心!你以为你死了我还想活下去吗?”
“如果是我错了,那我该死!”凯瑟琳抽泣道。“也有你的错,希斯克利夫!你离开了我,还记得吗?但我原谅你。你也原谅我吧!”#p#分页标题#e#
“我一看到你忧郁的双眼,摸着你瘦弱的双手,我就很难原谅。再吻吻我吧,凯瑟琳!我原谅你给我的痛苦,可我怎能原谅你要死?”
凯瑟琳无声地啜泣着,把脸埋在他的肩上,泪水顺着希斯克利夫黝黑的面庞淌落下来。
我突然从窗子看到仆人们正从教堂往回走。我怕艾加先生会看到希斯克利夫和凯瑟琳在一起。
“我的主人马上就到了,”我提醒他们。
“我得走了,凯瑟琳,”希斯克利夫说。
“不,不!”她高声叫起来,“别走!这是最后一面了!艾加不会伤害我们的!希斯克利夫,你要走我会死的!”
“好,我亲爱的,我不走。如果他把我杀死在你的怀里,我会幸福地死去。”
这时,我的主人在门口出现了。看到希斯克利夫正抱着自己的妻子,他的脸气得煞白。
“哎,先照看她,”希斯克利夫说,把凯瑟琳交到她丈夫的怀里,“要是你想跟我说话,呆一会儿再说。”他走出了房子。
凯瑟琳好像是晕过去了,艾加先生非常担心,一时间竟忘了希斯克利夫的事。她的知觉恢复了一点,可认不出我们,显然是病得很重。我们当即把她放到床上,就在当天晚上12点她的女儿凯茜出世了,早产了两个月。她就是你在呼啸山庄看见的那年轻女士,洛克伍德先生。两个小时后,凯瑟琳死了,既没有喊希斯克利夫,也没认出艾加。我那可怜的主人陷入了深深的绝望。我想,凯瑟琳只给他生了个女儿却没有儿子,真是太不幸了。这样在艾加先生死后林顿家的财产就会传给伊莎贝拉和她的丈夫。
凯瑟琳的遗体宁静地躺在她的床上。她死后的样子比生前更美。我不知道是否现在她“在我们之上”,像她曾说过的那样,我祈望她的灵魂已在上帝那儿找到了归宿。
早晨我去找希斯克利夫。在画眉山庄的花园里我找到了他,他一整夜都在那儿等着消息。
“她死了,我知道!”我走近时他对我叫道。“别哭,她不稀罕你的眼泪!告诉我——告诉我,是怎么——?”他想说她的名字,但说不出来。“她是怎么死的?”他最后说道,凶神恶煞般地盯着我。“别为我难过,我不需要你的怜悯!”
“可怜的家伙!”我想。“你的心跟别的男人也都一样,但你的自尊心太强,不肯表现出来而已!”
我大声说,“她是在睡梦中平静地死去的。她的生命在安祥的梦中结束了。我希望她能在另一个世界同样平静地醒来!”
“你在哪儿,凯瑟琳?”他绝望地喊着。“别把我留在这儿,我找不到你!我祈求在我还活着的时候你永远不要安息。你说是我害死了你——那就来索我的命吧!我相信被害死的人会找害他们的人索命的。变作鬼魂回来吧——把我逼疯——我不在乎!噢,上帝!我受不了啦!我活着不能没有你,我的爱人!”
他像一头野兽般地嗥叫着,好几次把前额撞到一棵树上,直到树干上沾满了鲜血。我明白我也帮不了他,就离开了。
凯瑟琳是那个礼拜五安葬的。虽然请了他的哥哥亨德雷,可他没来,又没有请伊莎贝拉,所以只有艾加先生和仆人们参加了葬礼。我们感到奇怪的是她没被葬在教堂林顿家人下葬的地方,也没同欧肖家的人葬在一起。她躺在教堂墓地开阔的一角,她在那儿能呼吸到荒原吹来的空气。她丈夫的墓和她的相邻。